Coming Home
by SkullFeather3063
Summary: Riot leaves her Candor roots to find her true self. She is now part of the Dauntless. She makes new friends here, she makes some enemies too. Along the way she finds herself, love and betrayal. She discovers how complicated relationships can be, so her friendships and family bonds are tested as she works to stop the biggest danger she has yet to face.
1. Chapter 1

When Riot left the room all she could think was her aptitude test results. They weren't shocking or unexpected but it surprised her anyway. She was a Dauntless. Since she was a kid, she always played with the idea of leaving Candor and joining Dauntless. She believed what they believed and she certainly did not believe truth over everything. People needed to lie to survive. Kids needed to lie to their parents after getting drunk on a school night and parents needed to lie to their children on occasions, about the things they weren't ready to hear or simply things they did not need to hear. Candor respected no privacy and a girl like her would not like that. She needed her secrets even when it was a small secret like the name of a boy she was crushing on or something big like the time she slept with her teacher. She of course lied, she lied a lot. One thing she learned in Candor was to be a great liar, they were taught the ways to detect lies, so Riot found a way to bypass them. However, she knew she would fit in Dauntless better. She liked to climb on top of things, running, jumping. She liked weapons and combat. She liked the freedom Dauntless offered. Dauntless was the only faction where freedom and equality was hold above else. Her father told her so and maybe she was an idiot to do so but she believed her father. Which is why, she was going to choose dauntless tomorrow morning. She was going take back her secrets and reclaim her freedom.

She walked around the lunch tables and found the Candor table. She sat down with the others and opened her lunch pack. It was a BLT sandwich, a bottle of soda and cup of ice cream. She start eating her food and not engage in any conversation with others. She didn't have much friends in here, even though community was important to candor, she just loved her privacy. She could make friends easily, her family was respected in the community but she just couldn't bring herself to engage with someone more than the pleasantries. She of course never lied about how much she disliked people, so people learned to just leave her alone.

After she was done with school she start walking to her house, she usually took the bus but walking made her feel a lot nicer. It was good exercise anyway. Once she was in front of her apartment building, she took out her magnetic key and walked inside the building. She took the lift upstairs and she was finally home. As soon as she opened the door, their dog Audrey jumped on her. She petted Audrey before walking to the kitchen and found her mother cooking chicken for dinner.

"Hey mom" she spoke softly to not scare her. The women turned around and smiled at Riot.

"Hey sweetie, how was today?" she asked curiously.

"You know we are not supposed to talk about it" she smiled fondly to her mom "but it was good. I liked the sandwich you made."

Riot sat down the kitchen counter after putting her bag to the floor.

"So how was your day at the court?" Her mother was a much respected judge at the courthouse and she would oversee many cases throughout her day but she would always find time to come home for dinner and spend time with her family.

"It was fulfilling work day. Johanna told us she finally got pregnant. You know she and her wife were trying for so long. I am happy for her." Her mother's happiness could be seen in her eyes, she lovex her assistant Johanna, they were good friends from the moment they start working together.

"That's great news mom" and she actually meant it. She liked Johanna as well. She was a rare breed of Candor. Honest but kind. She jumped down from the counter and told her mother she was going for a quick nap. She wasn't really tired but she liked naps and there was still time till dinner.

Her room was decorated nicely and modern, colors of black, white and red were dominant. She had a television inside which she could watch from her bed and she had a desk at the corner, her laptop and several books on top of it. She also had a bookcase next to it. Finally her bed was in the middle of the room, double sized and comfortable. She lied down to her bed, and soon Audrey come for a nap as well. She snuggled to her Audrey and comfortably fall asleep.

She woke up with someone shaking her arm. She slowly opened her eyes and saw it was John. Her mom's husband.

"It's dinner time Riot." He said and left the room without saying another word.

She and John didn't like each other much, they got along when it mattered but she always reminded him that his wife was a cheater. She was the living proof of the love affair. But John treated her mother right and he loved her, so she did her best to get along with him. It's not like she had any right to be angry at him, after all he accepted Riot as part of his family and did not leave her mother on her own.

She changed her clothes and put something more comfortable before going to the dining room. Her mother was filling their plates and chatting with John. She sit down to her usual seat and waited for her mother to sit as well to start eating.

"How was your day John?" John was a reporter for the biggest newspaper in the city and he was making a huge piece about Abnegation.

"I get to talk with Marcus Eaton. He lies a lot, though I am not sure what he is hiding." John spoke solemnly while taking bite of his food.

"You'll find out soon enough John" her mother said and affectionately touched her husband's hand.

Things were complicated about this two. Her mother loved John but at the same time she really loved her father. John knew this, he had accepted this but she knew they still fight about it sometimes.

"Are you excited for tomorrow Riot?" John asked to change the subject.

"I am very excited." She smiled widely.

"We will love you no matter what." Her mother said and John nodded.

"Thank you both. I just hope I won't disappoint you with my choice." She was worried about leaving her mother alone but she knew John would take care of her.

"No you won't. Now finish your dinner." She said to Riot.

Rest of the dinner went like this, they talked about general stuff, eat their dinner. Then she helped John do the dishes and clean the table. Before going to bed, they all watched some TV, it was a romance movie. After the movie was over, she took a warm bath and went straight to bed.

The morning came too quickly and she woke up with the sloppy kisses of Audrey. She smiled at the dog and jumped out of the bed to start the day. First, she went to bathroom to clean herself up, washed her face and combed her hair, tied it into a firm bun.

Then she went to the kitchen and start preparing breakfast for everyone. She made some eggs, bacon and toast. She send Audrey to wake everyone up as she set the table.

She was so excited, she just couldn't stand still. She was sad to leave but she was happy to finally go where she belonged. She was excited to see her father once again and make new friends who shared the same believes and loyalties as she did.

"Good morning!" Her mother walked into kitchen and gave her a tight hug before kissing her cheeks.

"Good morning to you too mom." She smiled and pulled the chair for her mom. When John walked in, she smiled at him politely and sit down.

"It all smells delicious Riot" John said and she smiled again in return. They all start eating in silence, not talking much. She knew this was their last breakfast as a family and she could see that her mother was feeling it too.

"I will miss you so much." She finally said and Riot could see tears building up in her mother's eyes. She got up and hugged her. Trying to console her.

"It's okay mom. You have John, you have Audrey and I'll come and visit you as often as I can. Dad will be there to take care of me, you know he will." She hugged her mother tighter and the women wrapped her arms around Riot, as if she was trying to prevent her to leave. Even John seemed a little bit upset about her not-so-sudden departure.

After minutes of consoling her mother, she decided to get changed into proper clothing. She wore her black knee high skirt, a black tank top and a white jacket. She put on her flat shoes. When she left the room, she saw all of them ready to leave. All except Audrey. She was lying on the corner, looking upset and her head was under her paws. Riot called out for her and, she run towards the girl. She kneeled and hugged the dog.

"I will miss you the most." She petted her dog fondly and left without saying a word again. Knowing if she spoke once more, she'd cry.

They arrive to the hub ten minutes before the choosing ceremony as it was expected of them. They took the lift upstairs with their fellow Candor. Her parents went to sit with other Candors while she had to stand up with other participants of today's choosing ceremony. Then Max took the stage and give a short speech. He talked about how we were now ready to make our own lives, our own rules. Then he start calling out the names on reverse alphabetical order. "First up, Zellner, Gregory" he read out the name and the boy walked up to the stage. Her last name was Ashmore so she was one of the last ones to go up there and make her choice. As the ceremony continued, two Candor boys choose Dauntless and surprisingly one Amity girl. "Eaton, Tobias" Max calls out once again and a scrawny boy in large Abnegation clothing takes the stage. She looks at the boy and dismisses him quickly but when she realizes he chose Dauntless. She takes another look. He is lost on that big gray outfit he is forced to wear. He has short black hair, olive skin, he has haunting eyes. Like he was in pain all his life. She'd never seen anyone look like that before. Then she remembers his last name, Eaton, just like Marcus Eaton. John did swear that man was hiding something, maybe it was Tobias who Marcus was trying to shove into a closet. "Coulter, Eric" he called out and she felt a boy push her to pass. She took a step to the side and watched him walk up to the stage. He had long black hair and cold eyes, firm lips pressed together without any trace of a smile. He was tall and build and he was wearing Erudite blue that somehow did not really fit him. He walked to the bowl of burning coal and dripped his blood without hesitation. So they were going to be in the same faction. Dauntless cheered for him and he walked to take a seat among them. "Ashmore, Riot" she snapped out when she heard her name and walked to the stage. Max handed her a clean knife. She walked to the coal full of bowl and before she cut her hand, she looked back to Candor to see her mother. Then she made her choice to join Dauntless, without any regrets in her mind. She walked to the Dauntless and found herself a place next to Eric and a guy he never met before, he was dressed in full black and he was a Dauntless born initiate.

Once everyone was done choosing, dauntless members and new initiates stand up and move towards the doors, they were the first ones to leave. All running like mad, she fallowed them without much trouble. She was fit and could keep up easily. They all stormed down the stairs, flinging doors open, laughing and shouting. They all run towards the rails and Riot fallowed them closely. It was obvious the Dauntless born did this hundreds of time and while it was first for Riot, she could feel the dauntless blood in her. She was born to do this. They climbed up to train racks, some climb through the stairs and some through the columns. They all stopped once reached the train racks and waited for the train to arrive. She heard the train before she seen it, and then that giant piece of metal come rushing towards them, only slowing for a moment. She didn't know how but she managed to climb inside the train as if she had done it before. She didn't trip, struggle or lost her balance, she was inside the cart in a almost elegant way. She was surrounded by other initiates. Most of them were in the same cart, some in others.

"Nice jump, I could swear you were a dauntless if not that white you are wearing" A dauntless girl spoke to her. She smiled to the girl and take off her white jacket, she tossed it out of the open door and grinned.

"What white?" She asked laughing and hold her hand out "I am Riot" she was shouting a little because inside was noisy and the wind coming through the door was making it hard for people to hear each other properly.

"Lauren" She shouts her name back while shaking hands with her. "Riot is an interesting name for a Candor." She says in curiosity rather than being mean.

"Well she isn't exactly Candor are you know Riot?" one of the Candor boys grins at her.

"Shut up, or I'll push you out of this train before you can finish that sentence." She hisses her but turns to Lauren and nods "He is right though, I am not exactly Candor."

Lauren laughed it off and said "You'll fit well in here." Then she changed the subject and they keep talking till it was time for them to jump to a rooftop. Lauren had said that it would be easy as long as she calculates the distance correct. She just hoped that she could. Once they were near the right building she could see people jumping down. Without giving it a second though, she jumped and almost landed on her feet but Lauren come crushing behind her and knocked both of them down to the ground. She laugh as Lauren helped her out. She was glad that she was making fast friends. They walked together towards the edge, where one of the instructors was waiting. He was a tall, lean man with dark skin and an easy smile.

"Welcome to Dauntless" he shouted "Where you either face your fears and try not to die in the process or, you leave a coward. We've got a record low of faction transfers this year, unsurprisingly"

The Dauntless born punched the air and shout and Riot laughed in pure enjoyment of her surroundings. These people were mad and she was gonna fit right in.

"The only way to get into dauntless compound from this rooftop is to jump off this ledge." He opened his arms wide to show the empty space around him. Then he pretend to almost fall, waving his hands around and then catching his balance. He had an easy grin on his face that showed he was enjoying this.

"As usual, I offer the opportunity to go first to our initiates. Dauntless born or not" he stepped down from the ledge and wait for someone to come out.

She was about to take a step ahead but another boy beat her to it. He had dark skin, sheepish smile and he was encouraging people to cheer for him.

"Go Zeke!" Lauren shouted at him and Riot just shook her head with a fond smile. She decided that she wants to meet him. He looked like someone who is at ease and funny to be around.

Her point is proven when he hops on to the ledge but miscalculates it. So instead he just loses his balance and falls down. Laughing, she jumped right after him, she catches up with him easily.

"What the fuck!" he shouted and Riot just laughs. They hit the net at the same time, her legs landed on his torso.

She jumped down the ledge quickly and he fallowed. Max was waiting for them there and he was smiling.

"Which one of you is the first jumper?" He asks confused when he notices Zeke behind her.

She points out Zeke without saying anything and Max announces him. She pats Zeke on the shoulder and walks down but before she flashes a grin to Max.

"Man you are insane!" Zeke hit her arm with back of his hand, laughed. "I didn't even hear you coming. Why did you jumped so soon!"

She laughed and shrug "I wanted to meet you, thought this would be a good conversation starter."

"Or you could try hello" he made a snort like noise, like he just couldn't believe her excuse.

"It's not fun as jumping from a rooftop." She grinned "Sorry your mathematical ingenious ruined your heroic moment but from where I stand, it was quiet fun to watch"

"I am Zeke" he hold out his hand and she meets him halfway, instead of holding each other's hand for a shake, both grabbed each other's wrist and shook.

"I am Riot"

They talk till everyone finished jumping. She learned a lot about Zeke in mere minutes. He had a brother for example, and he liked green. He had several tattoos and he claimed to have a piercings on his nipples curtesy of a drunk night. He talked about how much he loves dauntless compound and he assured her that she will love it here too. He promised to introduce her to his friends and he believed they all will like her.

The man on the ledge rolled down from the net and without wasting time, he gathered them in a semi-circle in front of him.

"My name is Amar" he said, while he looked at ease, there was a authoritarian look on him "I am your initiation instructor. I grew up here, and three years ago, I passed initiation with flying colors, which means I get to be in charge of newcomers as long as I want. Lucky you." He said that with a grin on his face.

"Dauntless-borns and transfers do most physical training separately, so that the dauntless-borns don't break the transfers in half right away" With that Zeke and other dauntless-born start grinning like mad.

"But we are trying something different this year. The Dauntless leaders and I want to see if knowing your fears before begin your training will better prepare you for the rest of the initiation. So before we even let you to dining hall to have dinner, we are going to do some self-discovery."

With that he started to walk and everyone fallow him.

"What if I don't want to discover myself?" Zeke said and all it took was a look from Amar to shut him up. Riot pat his shoulder and smiles

"I don't think we get to have say it" she shook her head with a smile.

Amar lead them to a room which he called fear landscape room. There was a huge machine inside, it didn't look fun like jumping from a rooftop, and it looked painful in ways.

"A fear landscape is a simulation in which you confront your worst fears" he explained without looking at the initiates. He was working on the machine.

"How is that possible?" said Eric, the erudite boy "You don't know our worst fears."

"Eric right?" Amar said and the boy just nod "You are correct. I don't know your worst fears, but the serum I am going to inject you with will stimulate the parts of your brain that processes fear, and you will come up with the simulation obstacles yourself, so to speak. In this simulation, unlike the aptitude test simulation, you will be aware that what you are seeing is not real. Meanwhile, I will be in this room, controlling the simulation, and I get to tell the program embedded in the simulation serum to move onto the next obstacle once your heart rate reaches a particular level –once you calmed down in other words, or face your fear in a significant way. When you run out of fears, the program will terminate and you will wake up in the room again with a greater awareness of your own fears."

He picked up one of the syringes on the table and walked towards Eric "Allow me to satisfy your erudite curiosity. You get to go first"

"But" he said though before Eric can finish Amar replied;

"But I am your initiation instructor and it is in your best interest to do as I say"

Eric didn't move for a second but then he started to take off his jacket and move slowly to annoy Amar. All his moves are calculated and prices. Then Amar injected him with the syringe and he went to the next room. Once the simulation begin, Riot noticed that Eric didn't move. She could see that the heart rate was going up and that he was scared but he still didn't move. He was keeping his calm. Thirteen fear she count and not even one of them makes him lose his cool. He managed to calm himself down and face his fears. Once he was out, she realized he is one to watch out for. She eyed him silently and watched him go as Amar dismissed him.

"Who's next?" Amar asked and she took a step forward.

"I'll do it, it looks fun enough." She approached Amar and he injected him with the serum. She stumbles to the other room and wait for the simulation to start.

At first she didn't realize that the simulation has begun but soon her brain catch up to the change of scenery. She was in an alley she'd never seen before, there was no one around and it was dark. She started walking calmly, looking around. Then all of a sudden, a man charged to her. He climbed on top of her and start choking her. His hands at her throat, she feels the life being sucked out of her. She tried to get out, scratching her attacker's hands, his face. Then she felt everything around her blur but she keept fighting. She pushed his face away and scratched his eyes but she can also feel she has no time left, she is about to die, so with a little strength she has, she gauged his eyes with her fingernails, digging her nails to his eye sockets and finally freeing himself.

As soon as she is free the scenery changed. Now, she was tied to a dinner table, many men and women at her side. They were looking at her like she was the food, then she realizes she is /the/ food. They start approaching her and they start tearing her limb from limb, biting and cutting. They start eating her. She knew she couldn't fight this. So she took a deep breath and tried to slow down her heart beat. She does what she'd seen Eric do, take a deep breath and let go slowly. She took deep calming breaths for few times until she notices the significant change in her heartbeat.

Then it changed once again. She was sitting in a chair, in front of her, her mother, her father, and John. All of them were looking at her with disappointment in their faces.

"I had such high hopes for you" her father spoke and her mother pats his shoulder.

"We all did. I am so disappointed in her, when she left us to join Dauntless" now her mother was crying

"She didn't even managed that" John laughed harshly "We raised you to be better than that! How could you do this to your poor mother? After all she has given up for you and you upset her, disappoint her like this? I am so glad I am not your real father."

"But mom… dad…" she tried to say something but her heat beat just kept raising and raising. She wanted to cry and scream but she couldn't. She knew the strong daughter they wanted wouldn't cry. She focused on her breath once more but this time she just couldn't do it.

"Oh poor little you! Are you gonna cry? Is this what I taught you? Am I that bad of a father" her father talked like she was a stranger and she just couldn't take it.

"What do you expect me to do? I was good! I am good! You were the one who left me!" she screamed at her father.

Then her wrath turned to her mother "And you speak of disappointments when you are a bloody cheater! You cheated on your husband and for what? Because daddy made you feel good?" she said it in a taunting way.

"And what about you John? Don't you love yourself enough? What sort of a person raises his cheating wives bastard huh? Why would you even put up with that crap even though you could leave?" she yelled at John.

"I am not disappointing! /you/ are!" she told all of them off and sit back down to her chair.

With that the scenery has changed once again, this time she was in the middle of the street. Her father was on the ground, bleeding through his stomach. She rushed over him and pressed her hands to his stomach, trying to stop the bleeding. At the same time she was crying.

"Daddy please don't die. Please I beg you!" she cries out to him and she can hear her father trying to speak but no words are coming out.

For minutes it goes on like this, and once she understands there is no way stopping the blood, she just pulls her father to her lap, crying. She hugged his half dead body. She tried to calm herself down by singing. She starts to hum a stupid song, first one she can think of.

"I love you daddy" she managed to say between tears but she is calmer now. She closed her father's dead eyes as the scenery changes.

She was tapped in a room that was separated by glass wall, on the other side of the glass she sees her family, her friends. People she cares about. She can hear them talking and laughing but suddenly the room starts to fill with gas. She didn't get effected since her part of the room is protected but she could see that they were suffering. She could see her family struggle to breath and the blood they were coughing. She felt trapped, she couldn't handle their suffering. She had to help them, she had to save them, she couldn't just sit and watch them die. She just couldn't! She looked around the room but saw nothing that could help her, no vent to climb up, nothing that could help her break the glass wall. She felt desperation taking over her body as she tried to breathe through her anxiety. She had to calm down. She thought of Eric again and how he calmed himself. If he can do it, so could she. She took a deep breath and focused her mind. She imagined her heart pumping in a slow, calm way. She tried to suppress the screams of others and focused her mind to a calming sound. Like the waterfall noises she listened when she couldn't sleep. Then there it was, the calmness washed over her as she suppressed everything and focused on her heart. She had accepted that she couldn't fight this one.

As soon as the scene changed she knew what was coming. This wasn't a fear, this was a memory. She was at a party and she was around fourteen. She was drinking few beers, having a good laugh. Then she felt pair of hands on her sides, her boyfriend at the time kissing her neck.

"How are you feeling?" he asked and this drove her to think how she was feeling. She was definitely feeling tired and she is also dizzy.

"Just tired I guess" she smiled at him. She trusted him, after all he is a Candor boy, and he has to be trusted right. He pulled her towards to a room, and gently lay her down to the bed. She thought, 'this is nice, a nap would be nice'. He locked the door behind him and move back to bed. Right now she was feeling quiet numb, her eyes were flickering. He put his hands to her legs and moves them up and down for few seconds, then he pulled down her black tights down. She couldn't grasps what was going on for a few seconds and she wanted to tell him to stop but she couldn't seem to speak, so she tried to move her hands but they were so heavy, her whole body was so heavy. She started to realize what was about to happen to her and panic took over her body. When he took off his trousers, she tried to fight back even harder but her limbs didn't move. Maybe it was because of the drugs or maybe she knew that she already survived this once, she closed her eyes and let everything go as she felt him inside her.

She was chained to a wall, strapped real tight. She couldn't move her arms and legs, she couldn't move her head as well. She was trapped. She forced herself but nothing move, only her limbs start to ache. A man walked inside, with a paper on his hands.

"Prisoner 005986" he said and she got confused "you are to be held here till you serve your life time sentence…" she stopped listening when he said life time, forever, she was gonna be here forever.

And her name was gone. Now she was just prisoner. They took her name away, her identity, her freedom. The panic rises inside her, she screams till her lungs hurt and she cried till she can't breathe. She needs to be free. She has to be free. She needs the wind on her face again, and she needs to be able to walk free, go wherever she wants and whenever she wants. She needs to have her own name, her clothes, and her individuality. She has to be more than a number. She has to think for herself, make her own decisions. She needs her freedom and the idea that she can never get that back, makes her blood run cold. She feels terrified to her core. She can't breathe and she gasps for air. She starts scratching the walls, banging her head, pulling on her straps.

Days pass, months or even years, she couldn't tell now. She could feel that she was breaking, and she was giving up. She had to. She hasn't been able to breathe probably since she woke up here, she can't… she just can't. She starts banging her head to the wall with all she got, she can feel the warmth of her own blood.

Then the simulation ended. She stumbled out of the room back to the crowd. Zeke come to her help and she leaned on him.

"That looked painful"

"Nah" she laughed it off "It was a blast."

She was shaken but she was also happy that she survived this. She had faced her worst fears -some she didn't even knew she had- and managed to come out alive. If this wasn't something to be proud and happy, she didn't know what was.

"You can go to the dining hall" Amar said and dismissed her but not without giving her a sympathetic look. She hated that look but she wasn't gonna start a fight because of it. She smiled at Zeke and Lauren, wished them good luck and left for the dining hall.

She found the initiates table, only Eric was sitting there and she could feel the eyes of other dauntless members looking at her. Before she sit down, she saw her father looking right at her. She took a deep breath and smiled at him. She knew what happened inside that room wasn't real but seeing her father alive, it allowed her to relax even more so.

As she filled her plate with food, she looked at Eric, deciding whether to talk to him or not. She decided that she might as well talk to him, they were alone after all.

"You are one to watch out for aren't you? Someone to be scared of even" She said with a smirk attached to her lips.

"You don't look scared" he only looked up for a moment but she noticed the smirk in his lips when he thought she couldn't see. Something about him didn't fit right with Riot, he was different. She was becoming curious about him, maybe it was the way he acted around Amar. A defiance was in him, his moves cold, calculated. She bet, he planned every word before he said it, every move before it happened.

"I tend to be not scared of people." She took a bite from her cake and lick her lips. She could feel his eyes on her too. He was observing her the same way she was observing him.

"Anything that can be killed, can't be that scary right?" she asked him, her eyebrow is raised and she was smiling.

"Maybe, maybe not." He said that while looking directly into his eyes. His eyes were colder than any winter she experienced, and yet they were just as beautiful. His look made her spine shiver, he could hurt her, he was a predator but she could hurt him just the same. She turned her face completely blank in matter of seconds and looked at him with the same cold eyes.

"Maybe I should give you a reason to be scared" he spoke again and a long malice laughter fallowed it.

She just smiled at him and took another piece of her cake. "You could try but I don't think it will end well for neither of us"

He smiled coldly at her before returning back to his food and she did the same. Though she was still thinking about him. He was annoying, domineering and something else. Something she just couldn't name it but it was there and it bothered her a lot.

"Hey Riot" Zeke showed up out of nowhere and sit next to her "I went in after you."

He looked awful, worn out, he wasn't smiling. He just filled his plate and start eating silently. She didn't know what to do, so she just give him a half hug and a smile.

"Eat something, walk around. It'll help you shake it off."

The initiates table started to fill with people slowly. After Zeke, Lauren joined them. She sit next to Zeke and start having some dinner. Just like the rest she was shaken as well. All of them were, every single one that came after her. She'd bet her life that even Eric was shaken but just like her, he was good at hiding. The only one missing was the Stiff but soon Amar walked him down to the table as well. He sit next to Riot and slowly put food to his plate.

"Jeez, Stiff" Eric spoke with a malice grin on his face "you look like you are about to faint." Some people around him laughed and Riot looked at Eric like she was about to stab him with her fork.

"You all made it out alive" Amar said before Riot could get her hands on Eric "Congratulations, you made it through the first day of initiation with varying degrees of success." Then he looked at Eric and his gaze shifted to the Stiff. "None of you did as well as Four over here though"

Riot grinned at him and squeezed his arm, she leaned down to whisper him "You are not so scared anymore are you?" she was referring back to the choosing ceremony "In here, you never have to be scared."

"Hey Tori" Amar shouted over his shoulder "You ever heard anyone having only four fears in the fear landscape."

"Last I heard, record was seven or eight. Why?" the women she assumed to be Tori replied

"I got a transfer over here with only four fears" Amar said in a proud voice.

"That's gotta be a new record" Tori replied with a grin of her own.

"Well done" Amar told Four before walking to Tori's table.

Riot looked at Four –she liked that name better than Tobias- "You are gonna do well here aren't you"

"I am Riot." She said, then she pointed out the others "This is Zeke and this is Lauren. They are nice people, and guys this is Four. He is my new friend." But they were all silent, all the dauntless. They were in awe.

"What's your real name again? Starts with an… E?" Eric looked at Four with narrowed eyes, she tilted her head and raised her brow. Daring him to speak his real name.

Four put his elbows to the table and raised his eyebrow like she did. Daring him. "My name is Four. Call me Stiff again and you and I will have a problem"

She saw Eric roll his eyes but Riot knew he got the message. Four was –just like Eric- someone to watch out for.

"Well a new name means celebration!" she shouted and handed Four a piece of chocolate cake "Eat up, best thing those lips will ever gonna taste"

Then just like that, everyone snapped out of their trans. Zeke lifted his glass and Lauren and Riot did the same.

"To Four" he said and finished his glass.

"To Four" rest of them chanted.

After dinner Amar showed them where they were going to sleep and since there was only six of the transfers this year, they were going to share one dorm with the dauntless-born. Men and Women had separate showers but the same toilet. The beds weren't comfortable, and she decided that she liked it. She picked herself a bed and settled down. There were clothing waiting for them but she was already dressed in full black so she just set them aside to wear later.

She took a deep breath and looked around, this is what she had signed up for. So far, everything was going great. Lauren walked to her and jumped on her bed;

"So you know there is gonna be a party right? A big dauntless party!" she was excited. Maybe even more than Riot was. She never really liked parties but this was her new home now, this was a new life and that deserved some celebration.

"Dauntless parties are the best" Zeke joined them soon after "there is always that one person who gets wasted and wake up naked with a tattoo in his butt."

"By that 'one person' Zeke is referring to himself" Lauren laughed and Zeke throw her someone's pillow.

"Shut up. That was one time and …"

"Wait!" Riot interrupted him with a shocked expression on her face "you have a tattoo on your butt. God, I have to see it. Can I see it?" she asked hopefully.

"Is this an elaborate plan to see me naked?" Zeke grinned like a little boy.

"Yes. The moment I saw you, I knew you were destined for great nakedness" she chuckled at his adorable new friend.

He pulled his trousers and showed them his tattoo. It was a girl's name.

"So… who is Helena exactly?" She asked Laurel with an amused expression on her face.

"Helena was a Dauntless born, she was a year ahead of us and now she joined Amity of all places. Anyway, our boy had the biggest crush on her and he lost his virginity to her."

"Did you really had to tell the last part?" he frowned slightly as he pulled up his trousers.

"Yes." They both answered at the same time.

Zeke laughed at them and pulled them up. He wrapped his arms around their waist and showed them the way to the party.

The party was on the pit. The pit was full of shops, bars, restaurants. It was like a small city within the city. She could tell she was gonna like this place a lot. Inside the pit was filled with so many people, probably everyone was there. She could see Amar and Tori sipping their drink together with few other people. Some people we dancing to the loud music. She took a deep breath and enjoyed the atmosphere. After a while, she left Zeke and Lauren to get herself a drink.

She was leaning on the wall, with a bottle of beer in her hand, she was watching some people dance. She could see Zeke talking to Four, and she could see Lauren dancing with some guy. Her eyes wondered around the crowd and she saw more people dancing, socializing. It wasn't what she was used to but in a good way.

"You know, instead of watching your friends from afar, you could go and join them" Eric appeared next to her. His voice was taunting and so was his smile.

"And miss hanging out with you?" she raised her brow to making her point.

"We certainly wouldn't want that now would we." He leaned on the wall just like she did and clinked their bottles together, almost in a friendly way.

"So" he grinned at him "what's with you?"

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"You don't see yourself as a transfer, you don't act like a transfer. You act like you belong here more than other transfers. So what's your deal?" he crossed his arms and waited for her to reply.

"I don't act like that. You choose here, you belong here just as much as me."

"And even in that sentence, you are putting yourself as a Dauntless-born and not a transfer" he was looking at her with little bit of curiosity.

"Because I am not, okay." she said little bit annoyed "See that man" he was pointing at her father but she froze when a women kissed her father in a way that was more than friendly. She squeezed her bottle in anger and snapped out of it when the bottle broke and she cut herself.

"You okay?" For a second Eric wasn't being an asshole and actually asking but Riot was too angry to even realize that.

She stormed out from where she was standing and made her way to outside, on her way she grabbed a bottle of gin from someone's hand despite their objections and run towards the chasm. Trying not to cry. She sat there, dangling her feet. Drinking gin and hoping not to fall.

She heard footsteps before she saw the person. It was Lauren.

"What are you doing here?" She was slightly sluring her words.

"Eric told me you got angry and run off." She said and sit down next to Riot.

Why would Eric do that sort of thing though? Why would he care enough to alert her friend? It was weird.

"So what happened, did that bastard do something to upset you?" she sounded worried.

"No. It's not Eric. Remember when we met at the train, the Candor kid. Paul. He said that I am not exactly…"

"Candor?" she completed her sentence for her "yeah I remember."

"Well, he was right. My father is dauntless. He is here." She shakes her head "It's nothing really. I am just… I saw him kissing a women." She sighed sadly.

She didn't know why she was angry, was it because her father had moved on from her mother, or was it because he never told her. Mostly the latter. She told her father everything and he did the same, so why this women was any different.

Lauren wrapped her arm around Riot and she leaned on her friend for support. "It's gonna be okay. Come on, you are drunk. I don't want you to fall to your death on you first day"

After Lauren carried her back to the dorms, she lied down to her bed and ordered Lauren to get back to the party. It was her time to have fun as much as Riot. Hopefully, more fun than she was having right now. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, soon sleep creep on her. Not sure how much sleep she got that night but it was all cut short. A stranger was sitting on her bed and waiting for her to wake up. Her head was hurting and she wanted to vomit but she swallowed it back.

"Max wants to see you."

"Who are you?" she asked while rubbing her temple.

"I am a guard. I am ordered by my leader to bring you to him."

She knew he wouldn't let his go, so she got up, trying to balance herself and walk. Her head was still spinning and the guard help her walk straight. He took her right to Max's apartment and left her at the door. She knocked on the door twice before it was opened.

"Riot? You are drunk" he catch her by the shoulders before she fell face flat to the floor and guided her to his couch.

"Hello to you too dad." She was slurring her words once again.

Max brought her a cold glass of water and helped her drink.

"Where is she?" she pushed the glass and looked at him angrily.

"Who?

"The women. I saw you sucking her face!" she pointed her finger at her dad accusingly.

He just sighed and sit next to her. "Her name is Amelia. I start seeing her recently. I was going to tell you but you were already on your way here so I figured I'd tell you here."

"Oh" she said softly, realizing she was being a dick and overreacting. She was still upset but not angry anymore. She wanted him to be happy, she really did, she just wished he was happy with her mother.

"I just wanted to see you. I know we are not supposed to see our kids until initiation is over but Amar was worried about what he saw in your fear landscape. He didn't know you were my daughter. I, just wanted to see if you were okay." He sounded so worried about her, she couldn't help but smile.

"I am okay daddy" she said tiredly. She snuggled close to her dad and enjoyed having him there. She missed her a lot when she was in Candor. She only get to see him during weekends and even then he was busy with being a leader. She was happy that even they lived apart, they managed to be close.

"You don't have to worry about me."

"I am your dad, all I do is worry about you" he kissed top of her head and smiled.

She woke up during the middle of the night and run to the nearest sink to puke. She was still hangover and everything was hurting. She washed her face and brushed her teeth before leaving the dorms. She walked around aimlessly until she reached the bottom of the chasm. Then she took of her shoes and let her feet dangle to the water. The cold was enough to snap her out of the sleepy trans she was in.

"You couldn't sleep?" Eric's voice come behind her and she just nodded without looking back.

"Wanna sit with me?" she pats the empty space next to her and she was surprised because of her invitation.

He took off his shoes as well and joined her. "Are you feeling okay?" he asked without sounding like a asshole "For a second I thought your head was gonna explode."

"I am fine. I just saw my dad exchanging fluids with another women and got mad"

"I am guessing she is not your mother?" he said matter o'factly but did not taunt him like he could have.

"No" she sighed "My mom is married to another man."

"That sounds complicated."

"Yeah. Imagine John's shock when my mom gave birth to a black baby. He still stayed with mom though."

Eric just looked at her for a moment before turning his attention back to the water. He looked like he was about to say something but later changed his mind.

"Do you have family?" she asked him, not really expecting him to answer.

"Not really but I have a dog." She smiled at his answer

"I have a dog as well, her name is Audrey."

"Mine is named Terror."

"Why am I not surprised?" she laughed and Eric joined her.

For the next hour or so, they just talked about their lives before here. She talked about Audrey and how much she disliked Candor and their policies. Eric talked about his life, mentioned some of his friend. Then they start daring each other. Eric dared Riot to recite the Dauntless manifesto and she dared him to count the names of every building in the city. They went on like this for a while, until she yawns.

"Let's go before you sleep on me" He pulled her up and help her with her shoes. "Come on now." He guided her to the dorms and tuck her in.

"Goodnight Eric" she murmured and he just rolled his eyes.

"Goodnight Riot."


	2. Chapter 2

She was waiting for Zeke to get dress so they all could go to breakfast. She was still hang over but she was covering that up via make up and will power. Lauren was already at her side and making small talk with her.

"So how much you remember from last night?" she asked Riot. Her face looking somewhat amused and curious.

"Not much. But I am fairly sure that there was alcohol" she was laughing and she could see Lauren was fairly amused as well, then she pointed out Zeke.

"If it's gonna make it better, Zeke had it worst." She said his name louder so he could hear it too and as soon as he did, he rushed to Lauren in hopes of shutting her up.

"Don't you dare" he pointed his finger to Lauren and she took a step back with a playful grin on her lips.

"Don't." Zeke repeated again and took a step towards her.

"ZekesleptwithMiathetransfergirl" she talked extremely fast and start running towards the dining halls.

Riot laughed and start running after them, despite her terrible headache, she was having fun. She catch up to them at the dining hall, Zeke was still chasing her and she was jumping from table to table, avoiding him.

"Fuck!" She cried and jumped down from the table "I am so sorry"

Riot run towards there and she saw her father looking at both Zeke and Lauren while rubbing his hand.

"What happened?" she asked Lauren who looked really guilty.

"I stepped on his hand."

"You stepped on my dad's hand?" she started to chuckle and turned to Max.

"Dad, these are my friends Zeke and Lauren. Guys, this is my dad."

Lauren looked at her like she just came from another planet "When you told me you saw your dad sucking face with a women, you didn't mention your dad was Max. Why!"

Max cleared his throat and looked at Riot with eyes that said 'really'.

"She found me drunk and crying." She told her dad in her defense.

"You never mentioned you cried" his face softened up

"But you knew I was drunk" she smiled sheepishly.

He rolled his eyes and motioned his hand to dismiss them.

"Come on guys, let's get some breakfast before they eat all the good muffins." She pulled her friends towards the breakfast line and smiled at her father before turning her back completely.

Both of her friends looked astonished by the fact that her father was Max. They start asking her bunch of questions about Max and her mom, she felt overwhelmed but she tried to answer them all. She filled her plate with some breakfast food and walked to the initiates table with them, still answering their questions. She sits down and shoves a muffin to her mouth to take a break from all the talking that has been going on. She chews slowly and looks a little uncomfortable, so in attempts to change the subject she asks about Mia.

"So, how did it go with Mia the transfer girl?" She grinned at Zeke and he start sulking

"Is this a service you provide all the transfers or is she just that lucky?" Riot wiggles her eyebrows to further embarrass her friend.

"No, and it was a one-time thing."

"Did she found out about your STD's" Lauren tried to sound upset and she put her hand to his shoulder in a supporting way.

"We are all here for you Zeke" Riot joined in and with that, the subject changed from her father to Zeke's imaginary STD's.

"Guy! I don't have STD's!" he practically yelled and people from other tables turned to look at them. Riot could see Amar cracking up. "Fuck you" he frowned but his sheepish smile returned fast as it disappeared.

"Yeah we love you" Riot smiled softly and wrapped her arms around him.

"Group hug!" Lauren joined them and they tried to squish Zeke with their giant ball of hug.

They finish up breakfast in about thirty minutes and they chat even after all the food is gone. They didn't move until Amar and some other women show up to take them to the training room. While Amar was seeing to transfers training, the other women -Karol- was seeing to Dauntless-born training. She waved Lauren and Zeke before she fallowed Amar to the training room with rest of the transfers.

She looked around the training room and smiled to herself. The room had a different smell than rest of the compound, it smelled sweat and blood. As she walked the wooden panels made cracking noises, and she took another breath. She decided that she liked this room, it felt alive for her. She sighed happily and walked towards Amar to listen to him, she stood between Eric and Sean. She crossed her arms and observed Amar.

Unlike yesterday he looked serious and determined. His easy smile was gone, maybe outside of training they could have fun but she was sure that warmness did not extend to this room. Before speaking, Amar looked around, he looked carefully to each six of them.

"Today will be different, today you will start learning about how to fight, how to use your body to its full potential. After four weeks of intense training, you will be fighting against each other. When the fights are over, you will move on to stage two with Dauntless-born."

As he talked, he started to walk around "Before I teach you how to fight, I need to see how strong your body is. Which is why this first session will be about cardio and fitness. This is important because it will allow me to see your levels and pair you accordingly."

He walked towards the back of the training room and opened a back door which led to stairs going upstairs.

"Fallow me" he said and they did what they were told.

They all fallowed him up the stairs for couple stories and then he opened another door which led to the train rails.

"We are returning to the hub, which means about thirty minutes of train ride, from there we will run back to the compound. This will allow me to see, how fit you are and the first one to arrive will earn a nice prize."

She directly looked at Eric with a wicked grin and then extend it to the others. She started to evaluate the competition. Mia was from Amity which meant she was strong due to all the farm work but that did not mean she could run, also knowing she had sex last night, Riot figured her legs would be tired already. Paul and Sean were from Candor and up until the choosing ceremony they lived by the Candor, which meant using cars and lifts whenever they could. Both boys were fit but Riot was already used to very long runs and she'd bet they weren't. Four was a good runner too but he was skinny and he didn't have enough muscle or stamina to actually run that far. Eric seemed like her only real competition. Eric was a build man but surprisingly he was swift and moved around easily. If there was one person who stood between her and upcoming prize, that was Eric.

"Get ready" Amar shouted as the train approached. Amar get on it first and rest fallowed.

Mia got in first, Riot and Eric fallowed, Four was the last one to join them and he looked rather sick about all this. She assumed, he wasn't a fan of heights.

She sat down and crossed her legs in front of her, soon Eric joined her too.

"When you lose it to me, try not to drink yourself to oblivion okay"

She laughed wholeheartedly "Have you ever considered that maybe, just a maybe, that other people but you, can run as well?"

"I did. It's not that you are a bad runner, it's that you are not me" he was grinning sheepishly.

"Do you need help with getting your head out of your ass?" she grinned back at him.

He smirked wickedly at him, it was playful as much as it was cold. He was looking at her like she was his next meal. She smirked back at him, showing she was in the game as well.

"How about we make this interesting. Place a little bet?" he grinned, showing his teeth.

"You know what Eric, let's make this even better. The one who gets the highest ranking at the end of initiation wins"

"Alright. The loser has to admit the other is better than them and has to do it in front of other Dauntless."

She hold her hand out and they shake hands on it.

"Bring it on" she grinned at him, enjoying her moment. It was clear Eric was doing the same.

"Hey Amar" she get up and walk to him "Could you do me and Eric a favor?" she explained the bet and told him they needed a neutral side to make sure no one cheats and so on.

He laughed and agreed to help them out. She returned back to Eric and give him a thumbs up after sitting down.

They talked for a while, since Zeke and Lauren wasn't there she didn't have a lot of people to talk. Eric was good as any and under all that hostility he was actually very intelligent. She yawned, feeling very tired from last night, she decided to close her eyes for a bit. Just till they arrive.

When she woke up, she noticed her head was on Eric's lap and she was safely tucked under his arm. She yawned and Eric realized she was awake. He pulled his arm and allowed her to sit back up. She stretched further and looked around for a moment to adjust to her surroundings.

"Glad you are awake" Eric rolled his eyes

"I am sorry" she moaned between yawns "I am still hung over I guess."

"Its okay, all the things you said in your sleep was enough to make up for it" he smiled mysteriously.

"What! What did I say!?" she sounded so worried that Eric couldn't help but laugh.

Eric opened his mouth to reply but Amar announced that they were there, so instead they got up and lined around the door to jump. Four jumped first, then Sean, Mia, Eric, Riot and lastly Paul and Amar. Once all of them were out of the train, Amar lined them up and gave them instructions.

"You are gonna run to the main entrance, who finishes first gets a price, last one gets to spend some quality time with me. I'll be running behind you to make sure no one gets behind." He stopped and showed towards ahead. "Well go." He said and they all start running.

Rest of the training session went like hell. While Riot won the running competition, Eric won the strength challenges by being freakishly strong. She was more flexible, while Eric could do hundred pull ups without breaking a sweat. It went on like that till the end of the training session and she could tell Amar was having the time of his life by watching the two of them compete and insult each other like there was no tomorrow.

"Okay, go get some lunch and meet me here after the break is over." Amar set them loose but she lingered behind for a moment so she could talk to Amar.

"Can we talk?" she said in a soft voice but it was obvious she wasn't asking, she was telling him.

"Yeah of course" he crossed his arms and waited "What is it?"

She bit her lip and looked down "It's about what you saw in my fear landscape."

"It was very personal I know…" Amar started but she cut her

"It's already hard on me that someone else knows. I talked to my dad last night, I was super drunk and he told me something, he said you went to him…"

"I was worried about you…"

"Please let me finish?" she smiled "I am not mad at you, you were looking out for me and I don't think you knew Max was my dad anyway. I just wanted to say thank you for looking out for me. You're a nice man. Thanks." She pat him on the shoulder before turning back and walk outside to get some lunch.

She thought she would be mad at Amar but she wasn't. He was looking out for her, it was certainly more than anyone ever did for her in Candor.

She left the training room and see Lauren walking down towards the dining room, soon Zeke appeared next to her and Riot got an idea. She sneaked up behind them and jumped Zeke's back.

"PIGGY BACK RIDE!" She yelled and fist bumped the air. Lauren turned to look at her and smiled, then Zeke secured her on his back and start running towards the dining hall.

"Coming through! Watch out! Watch out! Move out of the way!" Lauren run ahead of them to clear the way and Zeke and Riot fallowed closed by. Once they reached the noisy dining hall, Zeke let her go. She kissed his cheek and thanked him for the ride, then they all get in the line for some food.

She put her tray to the initiates table and sit next to Zeke while Lauren sit in front of her. They were all starving so instead of talking they just start stuffing food to their mouth. She ate some chicken, then some more chicken and once she was done, she licked her fingers.

"How was your first day?" Zeke managed to say after swallowing his food.

"Oh it was lovely." She grinned at them "Eric and I got ourselves a little bet. Which eventually he will lose."

Eric was on the hearing site and he looked up to her with a wicked grin but he didn't say anything.

"How about you guys? Did you all had fun?"

"Tons!" Lauren said and showed a new forming bruise on her collar bone.

"Neat" Riot smiled crookedly and fist bumped her.

She looked at her friends and couldn't help but smiling. Sure it was her second day here, but she felt more home here than she ever felt in Candor. She had friends, loud friends and funny friends, wicked ones and silent ones but they were all her friends. Zeke was loud and funny, she didn't think he was capable of being serious. Lauren was funny as well, not loud as Zeke but she was certainly bold as he was, she was caring but she took no shit from anyone. Eric was her twisted friend, if friend would be the term. They talked whenever no one was around and he was surprisingly caring from time to time. He was competitive and annoying as well. He made her curious, because unlike Zeke or Lauren, she couldn't get a clear reading of off Eric. Then there was Four, who managed to exclude himself from the day one, he was extremely silent, he was a fast learner but he rarely talked. His Abnegation wasn't there anymore but he wasn't Dauntless yet, not quiet.

"So, me and Lauren are gonna get some new tattoos, you should join us!" Zeke yelled enthusiastically like he just had come up with the most brilliant idea of his life.

"Sure, I need to get myself pierced anyway." She liked the idea of going with them, and she figured if they invited her along, they must've really like her. Getting tattoos together was a well-known Dauntless custom after all.

"I like piercings, they look so shiny and badass at the same time." Lauren pointed out her own eyebrow piercing.

"I totally agree with you" She smirked at her friends and finished last of her food before speaking again "though more importantly, where can I get my hair done?"

Lauren smiled widely at her "I'll take you there later. Now come on, we have to go to the parlor before lunch break is over." She jumped to her feet and waited for Riot and Zeke.

"So what you guys are gonna get?" She looked at them both for an answer as they start walking towards the parlor.

"I already have a tattoo on my leg but it's incomplete, so I am getting that finished over the week." Lauren smiles "I'll show it to you later when I can freely take off my trousers."

"And I am getting my tongue pierced" Zeke announced.

"Oh cool! Can we make out?" She grins at him as Lauren rolls her eyes "What, I always wanted to know how that would feel."

Zeke throw an arm around her and pulled her close "If you wanna make out with me, you don't really have to ask it twice"

"You are a generous man. Thank you." she said sarcastically and he pushed her jokingly. They start pushing each other until they were in front of the tattoo parlor, Riot pushed the door open and stepped into a new atmosphere.

"I'll find you guys later" She waved at them and walked towards the glass display of piercings.

She wanted to start small, a nose ring on her left nostril. It sounded reasonable and fashionable at the same time. She certainly wanted more but most of them would take time to heal, so she wanted to get those after her fights were over.

She picked a plain but good looking nose piercing and walked to an empty station. Tori appeared behind her and smiled. Riot smiled back and explained her what she wanted. Tori nodded and prepared the piercing gun. All the processes ended up quickly and Tori gave her instructions on how to keep it clean. She waved at Tori before leaving to find her friends.

She found Zeke first, he was done as well. He showed her his tongue, now he had a green ball inserted to his tongue. It looked really nice on him.

"Wicked!" she grinned and took his arm as they walked around to find Lauren.

Lauren was sitting on the chair without her trousers and a man was working on her tattoo. She grinned at them when she saw them coming and waved them.

"Come on, look at it, isn't this looks great?" she was so enthusiastic that Riot couldn't help but smiling.

"It looks perfect!" she agreed with her friend "but I gotta go." She pointed out the clock on the wall "We start earlier than you guys. How about I'll see you guys later?" She kissed Zeke on the cheek and blow Lauren a kiss before she left the parlor and walked back to the training room.

They were all semi-circled around Amar, waiting for him to start talking but instead he was looking at them. His eyes were shifting from Riot to Sean and from there to Mia or Four. He was observing them. Then he cleared his throat and start speaking;

"This morning most of you did very well. Some of you even exceeded expectation. Now, you will learn about how to fight. Dauntless believe that mastering violence will prevent the unnecessary use of violence. This will also allow you to protect the people and yourself."

Amar walked towards to the mat and asked for a volunteer. Riot took a step forward and stand in front of him.

"First of all protect your face. Neck up has many weak spots, such as two carotid arteries that feeds blood to your brain, your windpipe, the spinal cord which controls your motor skills." As he talked about the weak points, he showed where they were located on himself. "If you take away even one of these functions from your opponent, the fight is pretty much over. The same of course goes for you. You can't fight if you can't breathe, which brings me back to my first point. /protect your face/."

He paused for a bit to make sure everyone was taking in what he was saying.

"Secondly, stand on your feet and keep moving. If you are down, you'll be easy to hit. If you are cornered, you'll be easy to hit. But if you are fast and constantly moving, then you won't be so easy to hit."

"Lastly, hit hard." He paused for a second and grinned "If you are hitting someone, you want them to stay on the ground. You want them incapacitated. Hit hard, hit where it hurts. Punch, kick, elbow, gouge, bite, stab, rip, crush, whatever you can think of, you should do it. Your main goal in a fight is to survive. Remember your opponent is most likely there to do you permeant damage. So remember to protect your face, stay on your feet and hit really hard."

He walked towards one of the punch bags, he made his hand into a fist and throw a punch to the air and immediately returning his hands to a defensive position. The sound of him hitting the bag echoed throughout the room and made Riot smile.

"Make a fist just like I did, deliver a punch. Ideally striking with the knuckles of the index and middle fingers. After you punch through your target, immediately turn your hand into a defensive position. You will increase the power of your punch by twisting your midsection in conjunction with the blow."

He demonstrated what he was telling once again and did that with every new punch he talked about.

"A jab is a punch thrown straight out, using your fist on your lead-leg side. It's not the most powerful but it's great for maintaining distance. Cross is a punch straight in from the opposite the lead leg, this is a very powerful punch. Hook is an outward arching punch. It's great for targeting ear or jaw. An uppercut is one of the most powerful punches, it can knock someone out. It's an upward arching punch, and great for targeting the chin. Now, find yourself a punching bag and start practicing. After I think you are ready, I will pair you up with another initiate to practice it more hands on."

When she opened her eyes, she saw Eric and Amar looking at her worried. She rubbed her chin and flinched with the pain. Eric helped her up and she saw others looking at her too. She leaned on Eric for support and closed her eyes momentarily. Her head was spinning and she wasn't seeing correctly. She rubbed her temple and opened her eyes again, this time her vision was good. She moved way from Eric to stand up on her own but she lost her balance once again, Eric catch her at the right time.

"Can't believe you knocked me out." She rubbed her chin again in pain. "That's awesome. You got to teach me how to do that."

She heard Eric laugh, then he allowed her to stand up on her own once again. She gave walking a try and this time she didn't fall on her ass.

"Now that everyone is okay, you are dismissed. Good job today." Amar smiled at them and walked out of the room.

"Come on!" She pulled Eric towards the door "I am buying you a drink for knocking me out". Eric laughed again and let her pull him away.

She took him by the arm as they walked towards to the pit, talking. Eric asked her about her friends here, and he seemed to pout whenever she mentioned Zeke. Once they reached to the pit, they walked in to one of the bars there, he sat down to a corner booth while Riot went to get them their drinks. She returned with two beers, four shots, and a bowl of peanuts. She passed him his drinks and take a sip of her beer after sitting down next to him.

"Thanks for the drink" Eric smiled, almost politely.

"I'd say thanks for knocking me out but I don't think that's the appropriate thing to say when a guy hits you hard on the face" She bit her lip and looked down.

At the same time Eric laughed, he took one of the shots and Riot did the same.

"I never thanked you for sending Lauren after me at the party. I was pretty drunk and I'd probably fall and break my neck. It was nice of you."

He didn't say anything but just nodded, taking another sip from his beer.

"Hey, you want to see something kind of cool?" Riot asked, she was little nervous. Eric was quiet and she didn't know whether it was her or something else. She wanted him to like her.

"Mhmm, okay"

She took a peanut and throw it, then she catch it with her mouth. Eric was trying not to laugh.

"I knew it was lame" she hid her face behind her hands until Eric pulled her hands away.

"It wasn't lame. I promise." he smiled at her and let her hands go.

"My dad thought me how to do that the day we met. I was five. It took me a lot to master the skill though" She said proudly "I used to just throw bunch of them and keep my mouth open until one just popped in. Then I figured out the trick."

"You love your dad a lot aren't you?" He asked but it wasn't a question really.

"Yeah. I love him a lot. I don't think I'll ever forgive him or my mother though." She sighed and Eric pushed the shot glass on her.

She took the shot and Eric did the same. Then he suddenly sit straight and when Riot turned her back, she saw her father standing next to their table.

"Hi dad." She smiled

"Hey sweetie. Another friend of yours?" He smiled at her but then his face straitened as he pointed Eric.

"Yeah. That's Eric. He knocked me out cold today. We were celebrating" She smiled a little, feeling slightly uncomfortable.

"And I am assuming, my daughter happened to your face?" He pointed out the cuts and bruises on Eric's face

"Yeah. She packs a punch" He grinned towards Riot

"Clearly you do too" Max eyed Eric before smiling to Riot "See you later honey and please, don't get drunk again."

She rolled her eyes at him and took a large sip of her beer. When Max rolled his eyes in return, she grinned at him. He walked away and left the two alone.

"I am sorry" she sighed "My dad doesn't like strangers."

"It's alright." He drank his beer and keep it silent.

For a while neither of them talked but after a while the conversation picked up from where it was left of. They talked about Eric's father who walked out on them right before he was born, and Riot told him about the time she first met Max and how he was shocked to learn he had a daughter. They talked about the books they've read, and movies they've seen. She learned Eric liked music as much as she did and he learned that Riot was a smoker just like him. When they were finished with their drinks, they still kept talking, she decided that she liked talking to him. He was smart, twisted but still scary smart.

"Look, I have to go. I promised Lauren I'd meet her and get our hair done." She smiled at him softly "Buy me another drink sometime." With that, she left the bar and went to look out for Lauren in the dorms.

( . )(This is how her new hair and piercing looks)

Riot was sitting down with Lauren in her bed. Their backs were against the walls, and both girls had a bottle of beer in their hand. After they finished up with their hair, girls decided to come up to the dorms and have some bonding of their own. They had picked up six pack on their way up and now they were enjoying some quality girl time.

"So wait, you are telling me that, Zeke, our Zeke, fell asleep on a toilet!" She burst into laughter as Lauren was finishing up her story.

"Oh, we have picture proves! Just go find Uriah, his little brother and he'll show you" Lauren grinned evilly

Riot rubbed her hands together and mimicked Lauren's grin "Sounds like the perfect blackmail material to me!"

Riot looked at her friend and sighed a little bit sadly. She could have this life. She could grow up in Dauntless like she always wanted. Grow up with Zeke and Lauren, witness their stories from first hand rather than just some pictures. She could imagine Zeke trying to copy her math homework or Lauren teaching Riot how to do make up. Having sleepovers, family dinners. They would dare each other to do crazy dauntless stuff. She could imagine herself coming home from her first kiss and telling Lauren all about it. She could have this life if only her father legally claimed her. But he never asked and she never told. So she was stuck in Candor with her own bizarre family life. Having dinners with a man who wasn't her father, smiling to people who meant nothing to her.

"And there is this another time he fell into a bucket of cleaning water."

"How did he managed that!? That sounds physically impossible." She looked at Lauren with unbelieving eyes.

"Well, we were planning a surprise party for our friend Mandy. Zeke was doing the decorations and I was cleaning the house with Darrel. Zeke lost his balance while hanging the happy birthday sign and fell down to my bucket!"

"Okay but that sounds…" she was gonna say impossible but Lauren gave her the 'this is Zeke we are talking about' look and Riot smiled.

"True" She chewed on her lip for a moment "I really wish I could introduce Zeke to my dog Audrey. I think they would have such great time being giant dorks together"

Lauren must've imagine Zeke running around with a dog, she started to laugh

"Okay, I have to ask you something. I don't have many girlfriends. I mean the ones I had sort of left for other factions. So anyway. There is this guy who asked me out but I don't want to go alone. So I was thinking, maybe… you could come?" Lauren looked at her expectantly and hopefully. Her hands were clasped together on her chest and it looked like she was begging Riot to say yes.

"I don't know anyone though and I don't wanna be third wheel. So you get me a date too and I'll be there to support you with all I have." She smiled at Lauren "Okay, I'll still be there if you can't find me a date but still find me one okay?"

Lauren bit her lip, then screamed excitedly "I'll find you five dates if you need me to.! I am so excited. Okay tell me what you want in a guy and I'll just work my magic for you".

"I like people with depth, I like people with emotion, I like people with a strong mind, an interesting mind, a twisted mind, and also someone that can make me smile"

"And certainly someone who wouldn't cheat on me like my dad did to my mom, or my mom did to John. I had life time of cheating" She added in a hurry, she had no tolerance for cheaters after seeing what it did to her parents and people around them.

"One date with a dream guy coming up!" She hugged Riot from where she was sitting and thanked her several times before Riot stopped her.

"Riot?" Lauren spoke after a minute of silence "Is you dad mad at me for stepping on his hand this morning?"

"Nah." She waved her hand to show the unimportance of the situation "Dad rarely gets mad for an accident"

Lauren sighs in relief as Riot rubs her arm comfortingly. "Trust me, dad is cool guy once you get to know him. How about your parents? I've never heard you talk about them."

"My mom works with Max at the same building. She is a factions liaison. She makes sure Dauntless has a clear communication with other factions as needed. For example if we have a technical problem that we can't solve on our own, she contacts Erudite. My dad works there too actually, he works with Erudite's weapons division. He does some purchasing, some development. It's not an easy job." Lauren spoke of her parents in a robotic way, Riot could see she wasn't fond of them very much.

"You don't like them much huh?" She smiled kindly

"That obvious?"

"Well I am Candor, so we know how to read people."

"Oh, okay. It's just, they are distant I suppose and I spend more time with Hana than I do with my own mother"

"Hana?"

"Zeke's mother." She smiled at the mention of the women's name

She hugged Lauren tightly and then decided to change the subject. She start talking about Candor for a while, and even taught Lauren few tricks about body language. Then Lauren gave her some tips about Dauntless and some perfect camera free spots where they would use to go for a drink. They also talked about ex-lovers, ex-friends, weird crushes. Lauren asked her more questions about her family, and Riot was keen on talking about her Audrey. She learned Lauren had a bunny when she was little. They talked for hours, drinking their beer, relaxing.

She was walking towards her father's office when she crossed the fear landscape room and see the lights open. She knew the lights weren't supposed to be open when it wasn't in use, and when she heard noises coming through, she decided to check it out and see what was going on. Probably it was some Dauntless member challenging themselves. When she walked inside, she saw Four on the other room, shaking, jumping. He was going through his own fears. She sat down to the chair Amar sat last time and waited for him to be finished. He was jumping, kicking, fighting. Just like she thought he would be, or anyone would be for that matter. Maybe except Eric, he rarely moved and he was all about breathing while Four was giving some hell of a fight. Suddenly she felt like she was interrupting something very private, she got up to leave but at the same time Four get out of the other room. He looked worn out. When he noticed Riot he didn't react at all, not in the way she would have at least.

"You put up a real fight out there" she said in a soft voice, looking directly at him

"Having Four fears doesn't makes the process any easier."

"I know. It probably makes it worse. Something terrible must've happen to you to make your brain realize that, no matter what could happen it still wouldn't be terrifying as what you experienced in real life" She gave out a broken smile

"Are you gonna tell people?"

"That I've seen you training for the upcoming initiation task? No."

"You didn't see anything else right?" He sounded worried, he had secrets and no one respected secrets like she did.

"Look Tobias, whatever happened to you before, it's in the past. You got out. You have a new name, new home, new people. I wouldn't jeopardize that but there are others who will see this. My father, other leaders and Amar has already seen it too. So you should get yourself familiarized with the idea of some people knowing but when they know, it won't be because of me. Also, I wasn't wired like Amar was, so I don't know your fears though I can guess."

"You know my name?" He gulped but Riot smiled at him to put him at ease

"I remember it from the choosing ceremony. Also my mom's husband is a journalist and he was doing interviews with your father, I've seen a picture of you. I respect secrets, I keep them and I promise to keep yours okay?"

She smiled at a confused Four and left the room to leave him to his own thinking. She walked to her father's office to see what he was doing. She knew she wasn't supposed to see him but it really didn't matter to her or anyone for that matter. She knocked on his door twice and then just walked in. She saw her father kissing the women he referred as Amelia.

"Oh, I didn't mean to interrupt by all means go on" She took a step back as Amelia jumped from her father's lap, fixing her outfit.

"You can come in" She said after clearing her throat

"Oh thank you for letting me see my dad. I don't know how would that be possible without you" She could feel anger rising inside her.

"Hey watch your mouth" her father hissed

"Watch your penis" she hissed back

"Maybe I should go" Amelia shifted uncomfortably in her place.

Riot's gaze turned towards her, burning her from where she was standing. She reached out inside of her bra and pulled out a condom. She tossed it to Amelia.

"If you are gonna fuck my dad in his office at least use protection"

"Why do you even have a condom in your bra?" Her dad raised his eyebrow, waiting for an answer so he could use it to change the subject.

"I am a sixteen year old hormonal teenager who used to fuck her math teacher, what you expect? I have a healthy sex life" She crossed her arms and looked at him mockingly

"You can have this healthy sex life and I can because?" he looked right back her with a stern look on his face

"Because I don't have a bastard running around the compound!" She snapped at him and she could physically see his heart broken when she referred to herself as his bastard. She stormed out of there and start running.

She stayed at the chasm until it was time for dinner. She was thinking, mostly crying about her father. She wasn't okay with him seeing other women. She knew her parents were meant to each other and she just couldn't sit and accept this. She also had extreme sharing problems due to growing up in an oversharing community and even more sharing family. He was her father and after missing out on her for sixteen years, now he had a chance to be a real father to her and not just the guy she kept seeing o every weekend and Tuesdays after school. She needed a real father and she wasn't going to share that, she wasn't going to share her time with others anymore. She needed her father and he'd better be there.

She left the chasm and went to the dining halls, while she was getting her food she looked around to see her father but he was nowhere to be seen and neither was that soul sucking Amelia. Granted, Amelia had nothing to do with this, she probably didn't even knew what she was getting herself into but she was still going to hate her. It wasn't personal, it was emotional.

She sat next to Zeke and put her smiling face on. She didn't talk much while eating her hamburger, she mainly nodded and made agreeing noises when people asked her stuff. She was on her own world, thinking, sometimes looking around to see if her father arrived.

Towards her second hamburger she started to relax more and get more included with the conversation even though her anger didn't died out. Everyone was talking about their first days, Zeke complimented her new hair style and color. And while all happening, she tried to include Four to their conversation. Asking him about some stuff, trying to make sure he knew he has friends here but it all seemed for nothing. His answers was short and she knew he wasn't interested.

She pushed her tray and get up. She said goodbye to them and left for the bar. She was feeling like she needed a drink or maybe twenty. She walked inside the bar and sit one of the stools.

"What can I get ya?" Bartender asked. His name was Sal as far as she could read from the nametag.

She reached across the bar and grabbed a bottle of vodka. "Max Wintle. Make sure he pays for all this."

"You want one the leaders to pay for your drink?" He found the idea amusing

"He is my dad." She took two large gulps from the bottle "And he is the reason why my day sucks and if it continues like this, he is gonna be the sole reason why I go alcoholic at my teen years. He might as well pay for the damage."

Sal nodded, gave him a smile then went away to see another customer. She let her head fall down and hit the wooden bar, she could even hear the small thud the bump made. She wanted to cry but she couldn't do that in public. She wanted to scream but that was also not allowed. She could start a fight but considering everyone here knew how to fight and she didn't, she would just end up hurting herself. So instead she just decided to drink until she couldn't feel her face.

"Someone's not having a good day" Someone spoke and she jumped, slightly frightened.

"Oh fuck." She gulped down some more vodka to calm herself "Hi Eric"

"Hi Riot" He sat down to the stool next to her and ordered himself a glass of gin and tonic.

"So you gonna tell me what's going on or do I have to get you even more drunk?" Eric asked after couple minutes of silence.

"My dad." She sighed before taking a large sip.

"Was he kissing another women?"

"YES!" she frowned "I just… I am angry at him. I mean, he could have been with my mother but he ruined it to the point she just got tired of lies and left for Candor as soon as she could. Then he goes and seduces her again when the time presents itself. And ta da. It's me the bastard of the year. I just…" she took another sip and then another "I am tired of my family. I just want a normal dad. I never had a normal dad. I was raised by a stranger whom I called dad until I was five. I saw my real dad only on weekends and Tuesdays but it was short time. I am just tired of my dad not being my dad."

Eric rubbed his neck before speaking "At least you have a father. Mine walked out on us before I was born. I don't know anything about him, not even his name because my mother refuses to speak of it. At least your dad is in some place you can find him."

She smiled at him and start playing with his fingers while thinking to herself for a moment "I am sorry." She sighed "But just because…"

"Other people have it worse doesn't make your problem any less painful or hurtful. I know." He completed her sentence and Riot couldn't help but smiling. "But what I am saying is that, you have your dad, you can work on your relationship. You can fix whatever was broken and I can't say it'll be the same but it'll be something."

"I keep telling myself that" She drank from her bottle as much as she could before Eric took the bottle away.

"I'll give it back in a minute, just take a deep breath for a minute okay?"

"Okay" she murmured like a child. Alcohol was starting to show its effects. Riot looked up and saw his eyes, then she started to smile widely "You have pretty eyes."

"I know" Eric said with a crooked smile. "Look, I have to go but do me a favor and go back to your dorm safe okay?"

She nodded with a soft smile and reached to get her bottle back, Eric let her have the bottle and left without speaking another word.

She hang out there alone for a while but then she craved for a smoke. Vodka and cigarettes went really well together. She stumbled outside and found a corner to light up her cigarette. It was a quiet corner until she realized there was another person in there. It was Amar, smoking all by himself.

"Oh hello" she smiled at him and offered him her bottle "Not much left in there but it is some."

Amar took the bottle and take a sip before returning. Meanwhile she was lighting up her cigarette, she took a deep breath, letting the smoke to her lungs.

"Can I ask you something? How did you know it was a memory and not just a part of my imagination?" She was curious about how he knew the rape fear wasn't just an empty fear like the rest of them. She needed to know if she somehow gave it away.

"Memory center of your brain was lighting up like a bonfire." He simply answered and reached for the bottle. She passed it out and frowned a little.

"When the leaders watch it, will day see it?"

"No. They don't have your brain scan in front of them like I did. They will be just wired." He reassured her with his words and his easy smile.

She sighed in relief. She really didn't need bunch of leaders asking questions. She knew Dauntless took justice very importantly and if the saw it was a memory, then they would launch an investigation and then they would find out that the rapist ex-boyfriend just disappeared one night. No one knew what happened to him except Max and Riot and Riot preferred to keep it that way.

"You don't need to worry. Leaders don't share these things, they don't speak of it."

"It's not even that" She looked at Amar "My dad. He's gonna be there, he knows what happened but seeing it. That's gonna mess him up big time. I don't want him to see it but I have no say in it." She was genuinely worried about it. When she first told him what had happened that night, her father was livid like any father would do but now he had to see it and see every detail of it, every word that despicable man spoke to her. It was going to hurt him so much and she didn't wanted her dad to see.

"It's gonna be okay. I promise."

"See" She smiled "This is why I left Candor. Sweet sweet lies to keep me happy. People need to lie each other Amar, so they can survive."

Amar laughed and pat her on the shoulder like one would do to a friend.

"You keep the bottle okay?" She tossed the cigarette butt to the ground and start walking back to her dorm room. She needed to sleep and think things over. She needed some time to think about what was happening in her life right now. She needed herself more than anything.

She crawled inside her bed and slept through the entire night without any disturbance at all.


	3. Chapter 3

She was sitting in her father's dining table, watching him cook for them. She wanted to help but he had insisted that he was the one who cooked. After their fight couple days ago things were going great for them. He was no longer seeing Amelia, and he was making an effort to be the father Riot needed. So far her week was going great, she was visibly happier when everything solved itself.

"Okay, we have turkey pasta and leek" Max said as he put down two full plates to the table.

"This smells delicious dad" She smiled at him as she pulled her plate in front of her "I had no idea you could cook."

"Well your grandmother was a professional cook, she thought me a lot of what she knew." He sat down, then waited for Riot to take the first bite.

When she tasted the food a warm smile formed in her face and she took her second bite without waiting much. The food tasted really good and she could not believe her father cook so well. Her mother had never tell these kinds of things about her father, she usually told Riot that he was a liar whom she loved a lot. She didn't know her father and it was upsetting to her. They were close and he was the one she come running when she needed things to be taken care of, but she didn't know her father's favorite food, his favorite color or anything close to that. She didn't know his hobbies and how he liked to spend his free time, she had zero knowledge of his friends or his childhood. She wanted to know these things, she wanted to learn and this dinner was a good starter in her book. Now she knew his father could cook, her grandmother was a professional cook, and her father enjoyed cooking for other people.

"Are you planning anything tonight?" Her father asked little bit nervously. They both were pretty nervous.

"Lauren is taking me out on a date. She met this guy and then she set me up with another one. I don't know. I promised her I would go"

"Be careful okay." He smiled softly, looking directly at her

"Are you worried about me or my date?"

"Bit of both actually. Mostly him." His smile grew into a mischievous one

"You think I can take a Dauntless boy down?" She raised her eyebrow, questioning him.

"He may be stronger but you would certainly be angrier. That's your edge"

She smirked at his father in approval, she was pleased by the confidence he was giving to her. She liked that he trusted her to protect and defend herself and even then he was always made sure she knew it was okay for her to come and ask for her father's help. She reached across the table and squeezed his hand.

"Thanks dad." She smiled softly at him before returning to her meal "What about you? What will you do for tonight?"

"I was thinking maybe I could catch a movie. I don't know."

"A movie sounds fun dad." She wanted to encourage him to spend some time alone. She knew he was working hard, she knew that from the start of their relationship. She wanted him to relax and learn how to handle some personal time

They continued their dinner silently for a while enjoying their meal, the silence wasn't uncomfortable like Riot thought it would be. In fact it was pleasant for her, she didn't feel obliged to talk to fill the silence and neither did her father.

Once they finished their dinner Riot started to clean up the table, then she start doing the dishes with her father's help. While Riot washed, Max dried them and put them back to their places. She decided that they worked well together, she would normally do the cleaning and dishes with John and John was nothing like Max.

Once they were finished, Riot made her way back to the dorm, greeted by a very excited Lauren. She pulled Riot towards her closet and started to play dress up with Riot. Riot didn't have any 'date' clothes here, she was slowly building herself a new wardrobe without spending all her credits at once. Which was why Lauren was letting her barrow a dress. They were around the same size, except Riot had smaller chest area and larger hips. She dig through her stuff and pulled out a short black dress with long sleeves and rose motives on the upper part of it. ( . this is the dress)

"This should fit you." She pushed the dress towards Riot, encoring her to try it on. Not wanting to ruin her friend's enthusiasm, she changed. She could feel Lauren's eyes on her, looking rather pleased with the results.

"You look stunning." She admired Riot one more time before moving on "I don't have your size of shoes and your big dumb combat boots won't go with that dress. BUT. Zeke managed to find you these and please don't ask me how because I have no idea." She handed Riot a pair of black flats.

"Uhmm" Riot looked at her, little bit confused on what was going on but she went with it anyway. She kicked her boots off and put the flats on. "Thanks."

"No problem." Lauren was smiling confidently, clearly happy with her work. "Do you want make up?"

"I'll do that part myself, you have yourself to get ready to" she grinned, patting Lauren on the shoulder before taking her old clothes and shoes, putting them back to their places.

Once she was done putting everything back to their places and finishing her make up, she sat down to her bed and waited for Lauren to ready herself. She was feeling kind of nervous. She never really dated before. Dating in Candor was hard. Everyone was telling the truth. One time she was told that he would not be seeing her again because she had large hips for his liking. She would much prefer if he said something polite, a lie perhaps but that was Candor. She was excited alongside nervous. She really hoped this would go well for her.

"Okay I am ready" Lauren called to her. She looked up and give Lauren a thumbs up on her dress. Lauren was wearing a beautiful dress. It was shorter than what Riot was wearing and it had a cleavage that made Lauren look even sexier than she already was. ( .it/n4kl3z-l-610x610-dress-black-sheer-golden+threads-little+black+dress-mesh-sexy+party+dresses-sexy-black+prom+dress-black+maxi+dress-prom+dress-lace+dress-formal+dresses-formal+party+ Lauren's dress)

"You look stunning!" she chimed, she hugged Lauren carefully trying not to wrinkle their dresses.

"What you say Ri if our dates turn out to be complete losers we ditch em and go on a date of our own?"

"Would be my pleasure." She replied with a huge grin. She really liked Lauren, she was finally having a friend she could trust and share things with. She knew she made the right choice by choosing Dauntless.

Lauren took her hand and pulled her outside. Two people were waiting outside their dorm, she assumed them to be their dates.

One of the boys had dark skin and buzz cut hair, a tattoo creeping up from his tshirt towards his neck. He had a big red stretcher in his left ear and same ear had several small piercings. From the way Lauren was looking at him, she assumed him to be Lauren's date.

Other boy was certainly taller than the first one, he had lighter skin, blue eyes and long blond hair which was pulled into a bun. He had tattoos covering his arms which was visible through his short sleeved t-shirt. He had no piercings on his face except one on his lip. It was clearly new due to the redness around it. She also noticed incredible amounts of rings on both of his hands and looked impressed. She liked his rings and he didn't look terrible. This was a good start for their date.

"Riot this is Byron" She pointed out her date, the she pointed out Riot's date "And this is James."

She smiled at James and shook his hand "Nice to meet you."

"So you girls ready?" Byron asked as he put his arm around Lauren.

"Mhmm all ready" Lauren smiled flirtously and give him gooey eyes. He smiled back at Lauren, then they all start walking towards the pit.

She was feeling little awkward and out of place but soon it disappeared as she managed to strike up a conversation with James. She learned that he was initiated three years ago and now working in the kitchen with Byron because they both really loved cooking. She learned that Byron was the reason why they had such great cakes. She told him about Candor a little bit and they talked about initiation. When they arrived to the bar, she was feeling completely relaxed and thinking this might be a good date.

They all walked inside, she saw Sal the bartender working. He smiled at her and she waved him.

"Sal could you send us four beers, eight shots of tequila. Some peanuts and I want fries as well." She ordered quickly while Lauren pulled them to a corner booth.

James looked at her strangely before shrugging it off and sitting down. She sat next to him while Lauren and Byron sit the other side of the booth. Sal brought their drinks very quickly and placed them to table. They all thanked him before he left.

"Do any of you have a lighter? I think I left mine at the dorms" she pulled her skirt a little, she had taped her cigarette pack to her leg since she had no purse. She took one cigarette out and placed it between her lips.

At the same time Lauren reached inside of her boot, and pulled out Riot's metallic purple lighter and handed to her.

"Saw it on your pillow." She said, smiling softly.

"You're a life saver" she returned her smile with a goofy one. She lit up her cigarette and inhaled it deeply.

"How long you two been friends?" Byron asked, smiling to Lauren.

"Just a week or so but it feels like years" Lauren playfully winked at Riot and she thought that she couldn't have been more blessed.

"You two definitely strike me as old friends" James smiled, he made an attempt to wrap his arm around Riot like Byron was doing with Lauren. At first Riot got tensed but then she relaxed and let him.

"Oh well thanks" Riot smiled kindly at him, she reached for one of the shot glasses and gulped it down. She needed to cripple her insecurities before they resurfaced and alcohol was the best way to do it for her.

They all fallowed her lead on that one and took one shot each, James wrinkled his nose, clearly not liking the liquid.

"Not a fan of tequila?"

"Not really, no." He shook his hand and pushed his remaining shot glass towards Riot.

She smiled at him but didn't take the shot. She didn't want his drink, she didn't trusted the gesture.

"Riot did you know Byron makes the cakes?" Lauren probably felt she was tense and decided to help Riot.

"Yeah James told me. That sounds great to be honest" She thanked Lauren with her eyes, smiled at Byron.

"Riot loves the cakes."

"I fucking love it."

"What you girls wanna be once you pass your initiation?" James raised his brow, questioningly.

"Trainer. Definitely." Lauren said without hesitation.

For Riot it was different, she knew what she wanted to be and she knew her father did not approve per say. He wanted her to be a leader just like him. She could do it but she didn't wanted to. She saw how exhausting it was for her father and how much it took his time, time he could have spent with Riot.

"Fight. That's all I wanna do really." She liked the idea of fighting. She was good at it, it was also a good way for her to get rid of all the dark in her. Satisfying her urges enough, so she wouldn't blow on to wrong people.

"I thought your dad hated that idea" Lauren pointed it out

"He does but he can't really do anything now can he?"

"He is the leader I think he can do a lot of things" she pointed out again.

"Not if he wants to have daughter who speaks to him" She grinned at Lauren while the boys looked a little lost on the conversation. Riot knew her dad would never do such thing, he knew her enough to know that Riot would do whatever she wanted no matter who was against it. He was the one who raised her that way.

"Uhm, who is your father again?" Byron asked in confusion.

"Max." Lauren answered instead of her.

"I thought you were Candor transfer." James looked a little confused too.

"I am."

"She is." Lauren and Riot answer at the same time, then they grin each other.

Boys just nodded each other in confusion but change the subject quickly enough. They talked about themselves for a while, and she felt lost in the conversation. She tried to participate but mostly all she did was to drink and eat her fries. She didn't mind being there but she would prefer being somewhere else. She didn't like James. Byron seemed nice and Lauren seemed to like him, but same couldn't be said for James and Riot. He was still unaware of her dislike though.

When they first met, she did like James. He looked harmless but now she wasn't so sure. Something inside her told her that she could not trust James and she wasn't feeling safe around him. She shrugged the feelings off, believing they were just her imagination. She was being unreadable, it was her past sneaking up on her once again.

She took a large sip from her drink, trying to pass the time, trying to calm her nerves down. Lauren was too caught up with her own date to notice how bored and detached Riot was. She was silent and sitting down.

"Are you bored?" James leaned on her and almost whispered.

"Yes" she saw no point in lying. She was in candor too long and no matter how much she detested, it rubbed on her.

"I can change that" she felt his hand on her knee and she tensed up immediately.

"Don't touch me" She looked to him strait in the eyes with a deadly glare, hissing the words only for him to hear.

"Aw don't be like that sweetheart. We are having good time." He used an undermining tone people do when they can't get the respond they wanted, then he moved his hand up towards her inner tight.

That was it for Riot. She knew from a personal experience that, when a man didn't stop at no for the first time, he wouldn't stop for the second time. Violence however was a useful response. It did send a clear message, and it hurt the person in front of her.

She leaned towards him, like she was about to kiss him and he leaned in as well. What a dumb thing. She placed her hand to back of his neck, and tangled her fingers to his long hair. Then she closed the gap between them, she bit the piecing on his lip and pulled her head back fast as she could. She heard a painful scream, but didn't stop at that. She made her hand fist, which was holding onto his hair, and jammed his head to the table. She jumped back and get up. She spit the piercing to the floor.

"YOU FUCKING BITCH"! He cried out, blood dripping from his mouth and his eyebrow split open

"You fucking touch me again and I will fucking murder you!" she hissed at him. On the outside she might looked cold and calm but she was shaking. She made her hand into a fist to hide the tremor.

"You got me? I will murder you." She repeated herself loudly. He nodded, eyes wide open.

Everyone was looking at her, most guessing what happened. Sal was grinning at her. Lauren looked worried and Byron had a confused look.

"You enjoy your date okay." She told Lauren "And you, get yourself a better friend"

She took a deep breath and walked out of there right. Once she was out, she just started to run, tears streaming down her cheeks out of fear, anger, frustration. She knew she was lucky, they could have been alone and he could have been stronger. She could have been passed out and he could have been the reason. She was lucky that there were people around, and she was lucky that she managed to catch him off guard. But even the idea of what could have happened was enough to shake her to her core. It may have been just a touch but it was unwanted and it was disgusting. No touch was innocent when it was forced on you.

She suddenly stopped moving and looked up. It was Eric and he was holding her from her shoulders. He was the reason she had suddenly stopped.

"Are you okay?" He looked concern. Her face was covered in tears and blood, of course he would be worried.

"I am fine. It's not my blood."

"But it's your tears." He didn't spoke in a soft way, or a way that babied him. He was straight and to the point. He was stating what he was seeing.

"Come on then, let's get you cleaned up" He pulled his hands from her shoulders and pointed her the way towards the dorms.

They walked in silence to the dorms, he didn't ask any questions and she didn't feel like talking. She would tell him when she felt like it. He led her to the common bathrooms and waited for her to clean herself.

First she looked herself at the mirror. She looked horrible. Blood was covering her lips and her chin, it was dried. Her eye makeup was smudged and run down. She looked like nightmare.

She washed the dried blood and cleaned her eye makeup with a piece of tissue. Her eyes looked even redder because how hard she was rubbing to get the eye shadow off.

The dorm was empty, it was Friday night after all, everyone was out, having fun. Four was probably going through his fear landscape to the point of his exhaustion. Knowing no one would come back to the dorms for a long time, she decided to stay inside.

Once she was done with cleaning up, she changed her clothes. Eric turned his back, giving her a little bit of privacy which she needed very much. She put her black pajama pants and a black t-shirt with dauntless logo on it which she totally did not steal from her father.

"You can turn around now" she spoke for the first time and her voice sounded very fragile. She was still trying to shake the feeling off. She hated that one touch could get her off balance like that, one touch from a men she had never met before prior to tonight and yet the idea of his hand on her tight was enough to cripple her. It was enough to make her cry, make her want to scream, make her want to hurt herself.

Eric turned towards her and tried to smile at her. He initially failed but the effort did made Riot smile a little. She walked down to her bed and lied down, feeling emotionally exhausted. Eric sat down to the ground, his back against her mattress.

She let out of a big tired sigh and closed her eyes. Knowing she wasn't alone and Eric was there made her feel safe. She didn't know what was about Eric that made her feel safe but he did feel safe. Maybe it because she already knew how dangerous Eric was, he was brutal, cruel and capable of anything. He was aggressive, competitive, and extremely smart. He liked to prey on the weak and he loved tearing limb from limb. Knowing how dangerous he was, made her feel safe. She didn't had to go and seek for his ulterior motives, she didn't have to look for lies in him. James looked decent, he spoke like a gentlemen, he walked and act like it, his hands looked clean as if he never hit anything before, yet he made her feel unsafe and insecure. She didn't had to take off Eric's skin to look for the monster, it was already there, in broad day light, out and proud and for everyone to see.

"I…" she didn't know how to start but she wanted to tell him what was wrong. She knew she had to explain it to Lauren at some point and probably to Zeke as well. Worst of all, she had to explain it to her father which scared her to death.

"You don't have to tell me what happened on your date" his voice was low but sharp.

"How did you know I was on a date?" she asked surprised, she never told him she was going on a date.

"Lauren and Zeke were talking."

"Oh. That makes sense" she seemed to accept the answer that was given to her. She was too tired to surgically analyze his answer.

"I am probably overreacting anyway." She sounded so small, almost fragile.

"I don't think you are. You looked genuinely scared and you don't strike me as someone who would be scared easily. For the past week, you've been fighting with me and I am twice your size, you not even once flinched. You don't get scared easily Riot. You don't overreact, you actually have terrible self-preservation skills."

"I do have self-preservation skills" she objected half-heartedly and pushed him gently from where she was lying.

"I cracked your rib and it took you two days and four people to go see a doctor and get treated."

"I still don't think that was a crack and you all overreacted."

"Between you and her, which one of you has a medical training and a degree?"

"Fine" she huffed and crossed her arms "it may have been a crack but I am feeling better already."

Eric turned towards her and looked at him with a face that showed how ridiculous she sounded.

"This is what I am talking about Riot. You don't over react. Don't try to invalidate your experiences."

She sighed in defeated. He probably was right, and she wasn't overreacting but it felt silly, it felt like she shouldn't have been reacting at it at all. She felt like it was just a touch and it was insignificant. It was what boys did. What was she expecting?

"May I?" He pointed towards the bed, asking her permission to sit down. She moved towards the wall, leaving enough space for him to fit himself. He lied down next to next, and stayed silent for a moment. Both looking at each other.

"All he did was to touch my leg, it's no big deal" she looked down.

"It is though, isn't it? Especially for you." He looked at her with eyes that made her feel safe.

She nodded silently. She hated the idea of anyone touching her without her expecting it. She flinched and got scared. She liked being the one initiated things. She liked being the one who initiated the hugs, and handshakes.

"I've seen you flinch when your friends touch you when you didn't expected it." He sighed, trying to find his words. Eric completely turned towards her.

"You were not overreacting. No one has any rights to touch you without your consent. They people could be your family, your friends, people you show affection regularly and even they are obliged to respect the boundaries you set up. The moment you show a negative reaction, they have to stop. They have to pull back. You are not obliged to show positive affection when someone hugs you when you don't feel like hugging. You are not obliged to suck it up to make them happy. Being able to choose who gets to touch you is one of your most basic rights as a human. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty about making that choice."

"Thank you" she smiled at him "you know, for someone who enjoys hurting people, you are kinda nice."

She was surprised by his words, maybe it's because she never expected to hear them in the first place. She always knew she had the option of saying know, she knew that but she always somehow felt obliged to let her parents hug her when she just wanted to be left alone, or when her boyfriend wanted to have sex and she didn't yet she always somehow let him do what he wanted. She felt like it was her job even though she knew it wasn't. She always told herself that when it mattered, when it really mattered, she could stop but she never really did. She just accepted that as it was expected of her. But hearing Eric, she knew he was right, there was no room for arguments there. Anything that made her uncomfortable was not okay. James was the one who crossed her boundaries and she had responded accordingly. Her reaction was normal.

He grinned at her in response "So what did you do to him?"

Pleased with herself, she turned towards him, now both facing each other completely "I bit off his lip piercing, it split open his lip. I also hit his head to the table." She was grinning at him as well.

"Maybe I should rethink before I get a new piercing"

"Maybe you should." She chuckled "I found it quiet enjoyable."

"That's my girl" he was grinning proudly. He got up and left the bed. "Come on, get up."

"Why?" She asked but did what he asked anyway.

"We are getting new piercings." He pushed her combat boots using his feet.

"Again, why?" She smiled as she put on her boots.

"Because you ripped someone's piercing off, that deserves a celebration. Also before you interrupted me, I was on my way to get one myself. I am late."

"Sorry about that." She looked a little guilty.

"Its fine, I wouldn't stay if I didn't wanted to." He smiled genuinely, letting her know that he wanted to be there.

"Thanks." She tied her shoes and got back up.

They walked out of the dorms side by side, making their way to the tattoo parlor. She still had a lot of explaining to do but for now, it could wait. She wanted to enjoy her remaining free time with Eric, she didn't wanted to think about James, Lauren or her father.

"Wanna race me to the pit?" She raises her brow "A chance to redeem yourself from our first run together."

He grins at her and she can see the competitive light on his eyes "Alright. On the count of three then?"

"On the count of now?" She pushed him back slightly and start running.

She could hear his footsteps behind her, pounding the stone underneath him. She could feel his eyes focused on her. She could imagine in his eyes focused and his lips pressed together in determination. She was fast, faster than he could catch her but that man had quite the determination. If she ever would find herself in a position against him, she would be scared. She would be stupid not to.

She stopped right in front of the tattoo parlor. Her hands on her knees, breathing heavily. Eric stopped next to her, leaning to the wall. She couldn't help but laughing, and he joined her.

"Fucking cheater" he said between his laughter.

"I prefer the term opportunistic"

"Still a fucking cheater." He grinned and pushed the door open. He hold it for her as she walked in.

They immediately walked towards the piercings display. She had nothing in mind so she just browsed the display, trying to find something that could go with her, without interfering with her fighting which was about to begin on Monday.

"Anything in mind?" he asked tapping the glass.

"No. I mean yes but that has to wait. So I think I will go with an eyebrow piercing." She pointed out little spikes for eyebrows and smiled.

"Alright. I'll see you in a bit. I need to convince Tori that I didn't mean to miss my appointment and beg her to take me back." He grinned and nodded towards her before leaving.

"Good luck."

She decided to get three small silver spikes pierced to her right eyebrow horizontally. She got it all done in twenty minutes which most of it was wasted while waiting in line. She found Eric waiting for her outside the door. He was leaning to the wall, his arms crossed.

"Hey" she smiled, gently tapping on his shoulder.

"Hey" he smiled back and straightened himself up. He looked at his eyebrow "I like it. It suits you"

"Where is yours?" She couldn't see a new one on his face.

"That's a secret. Maybe I'll show you one day." He grinned mysteriously, then he placed his arm around Riot "Come on, I am buying you drinks. You deserved it."

"Of course I did" she grinned sheepishly. She felt relaxed under his arm, she didn't get tense, and instead she felt secure. He made her feel secure.

They walked to the bar together and both seat at the stools instead of the booths. Sal comes towards them with a huge grin on his face.

"Women of the day. What can I get you?"

"We'll have shit ton of tequila" Eric told Sal

"Fuck ton of tequila" Riot corrected him

"Sorry, fuck ton of tequila." He grinned at Riot.

Sal lined up ten small shot glasses to the counter and filled them with tequila. Riot took a glass from the one end and Eric took from the other. They clinked their glasses before they gulp the liquid down, they turned the empty glass upside down and placed it like that to the counter. They did the same until all their glasses were empty and she could feel the heavy burning in her throat.

"You want more?" Sal asked "On the house."

She nodded to Sal and reached behind the bar to take the bottle. "I'll keep the bottle thank you. And maybe don't mention it to my dad okay?" She spoke sweetly.

Sal chuckled and left them be.

They started to talk as they drink, asking each other silly questions about everything. She liked getting to know Eric apart from his usual self. She admired him, and she decided she admired his relaxed side as well. Maybe it was alcohol or maybe he actually liked being around Riot but he was at ease. His body language showed that, he wasn't tense and looking behind his shoulder. His posture wasn't straight as usual, he was more leaning towards Riot. He was also laughing. It wasn't in a long scary way like he did in many cases, he had a certain amusement in his tone. He was genuinely having good time.

"Let's go out for a cigarette." She gently touched his shoulder and get up.

He followed her up. Since they were both drunk, they leaned each other as they walked. Riot was a functioning alcoholic but that didn't mean her motor skills were functioning as well as her brain.

Eric pushed the metal door open and cold air suddenly touched her. She shivered and snuggled herself closer to Eric. He wrapped his arm around Riot more protectively, they walked to a corner. They both sit down side by side. Their shoulders touching. Riot put the almost empty tequila bottle between their legs.

"Can I have a cigarette?" Eric asked, he had puppy dog-ish eyes "I forgot my pack"

"I was actually hoping to get one from you" She looked down before breaking down with giggles. She thought she had her pack when she asked but halfway down she noticed she didn't, and assumed he would have.

"Idiot" He rolled his eyes but Riot could swear she heard him chuckle.

"You're a very rude man." She tried to sound serious but another fit of giggles interrupted her.

He looked at her like he was watching the funniest thing on earth, and he was looking at her carefully. In way she never noticed him do before. She hid her face on his shoulder, her body still shaking because of her laughter.

"FUCK!" She shouted to the empty space. She pulled her knees and put her head between. She was trying to breath.

"What's wrong?" Eric was asking, she could vaguely hear.

"I just hate this." She tried to explain, she wanted to explain all these complex emotions inside her. "Do you, do you ever just get so confused?"

"I am confused now" he genuinely looked confused which made her smile a little.

"It's just that, sometimes…" she paused "most of the times" she corrected herself "I still think of jumping off of bridges or chase down bottles of whatever I can find that day, or slice up my body. And I know, I know it's killing me, and I know it's destructive but it's not like I can control. But then there are times…" she sat straight and directly looked ahead "then, there is now. Or the times… It's just, suddenly I am ripped into being alive. And I know life is pain, and life is suffering, and life is horror, but my god! I am alive and It's spectacular."

"I know that feeling. But we are human beings, we are capable of feeling such complex emotions and all at once." He smiled at him gently "I am glad you are enjoying your life now, and whenever you feel like you aren't, come and find me. I don't know how a broken person is supposed to fix another broken person, but I am smart, I'll find a way for it to work".

She turned to him with a huge smile on her face, she felt happy because of his words, and she felt safe. She leaned in to kiss him, she really wanted to kiss him, she closed her eyes and she knew he was leaning as well.

"That hurts you fucking cunt!" Someone yelled, making Riot jump.

"No, you the fucking cunt" A second voice yelled back. Both of them were clearly drunk, slurring their words as they spoke.

Then she saw them, a group of dauntless man, leaning on each other, drunk as their body could endure.

One the boys pointed at her "That's the little bitch who bit Jason" then he doubled up with laughter.

Being called upon a bitch, she jolted up, ready to fight.

"You're my little bitch" she hissed towards the drunk men.

"Calm down" he grinned at her as he took a step forward "I speak with upmost respect. James is a utter piece of garbage, trust me"

"Oh I know." She crossed her arms, looking at him straight forward.

"Let me buy you a drink! Come on!"

"Yeah!" The other boys cheered from behind.

"Bring your boyfriend too" he pointed Eric "it'll be fun!"

She was staring at the ceiling for god knows how long, she couldn't been able to sleep and it was already three in the morning. She sighed, fully aware the fact that she just couldn't sleep. She was about to kiss Eric and that was all she could think of. She was re-living their night in her head. It was perfect. It was everything she actually would expect from a date. He was so kind to her and it wasn't because he was obliged to or that he had gain from it, he was kind to her because he chose to be. She remembered the way he looked at her when they were outside, he could burn the skies with those eyes and yet he had chosen to burn her instead. But she didn't quite understand, did he wanted her or was it simply because they both were too drunk and at each other's close proximity.

She heard a low thud, she looked around to find the source of the noise. Everyone was sleeping except her, so it was odd. She got up when she heard another thud fallow the first one. She walked between the beds, and that's when she realized it was Eric. He was shaking in his dream, he was having a nightmare.

"Eric, wake up" she gently shook him as she whispered.

"Huh?" A very confused Eric looked at her "Riot what's wrong?"

"You've been having a nightmare. It's alright." She smiled at him.

"Oh" all he did was to sigh, clearly this wasn't his first nightmare.

She pulled open his covers and get inside, then she wrapped her arms around his large torso. She closed her eyes and whispered him to sleep. She didn't want him to have nightmares, she didn't want him to see any more bad dreams.

"Thanks" he murmured as they both drifted to a very peaceful sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

They were inside her father's office, he had summoned her there after breakfast. He was probably waiting for an explanation, a lot of people were. Lauren wasn't looking at her at breakfast that morning and Zeke was all confused. She was going to explain it to them, she was going to make it right but first she wanted to talk to her father.

She hated it though, she hated the fact that this was the second time she was in his office and explaining why a man thought he could touch her. At least this time she wasn't there to ask help, this time she was lucky enough to fight back and that meant something to her. That meant she wasn't the victim this time, this time she was the hero she needed.

"So" her father started to talk, but he paused and took a deep breath "I heard what happened."

"I am sorry… I" she looked down, thinking her father was disappointed or angry at her.

"No, no. Don't apologize. Not for this. Not for defending yourself, I am not angry Riot." His voice was soft and caring.

"You're not?" she asked him rather surprised.

"Why would I? In fact I am proud of you for being able to stand up for yourself. I am simply worried." He smiled at her and she could see that there was no lies in his words.

She got up from her seat and walked behind his desk where he was seated, she pulled her father into a tight hug.

"Thank you."

Max patted her back and kissed her forehead before letting her go, "I spoke to him, he won't be making any official complains. Not that any of it would hold. A lot of people were there, a lot of them saw."

"Dad? You didn't…?" she was asking whether he hurt James or not.

"No. It took a lot of will power but no."

"I love you dad." She smiled at him brightly.

This was the first time she had said 'I love you' to her dad, at least to his face. She had always restrained herself from using the L word, it never felt like the right time, love was important to her and her father needed to earn that. And he had.

She saw Max's face visibly changed upon hearing her words, his eyes shining, and a bright smile curled up on his lips.

"I love you too Riot." He pulled into another hug, this time it was tight and she couldn't help but chucking at her father's actions. He could be such a child sometimes, emotional and affectionate. She liked that about him, how he tried to show his emotions even though he usually sucked at it.

She pulled back and returned to her seat, she didn't wanted to leave just yet and since it was weekend, she had no training what so ever. This could be a nice time to spend it with her father, hoping he was free as well.

"What did you do last night? I mean besides getting rid of my creeps?"

"I missed the movie time but some of the other leaders and I went for a drink at Sal's. Which is when I learned about your little bar tab" he looked at her like his been amused.

"Oh well..." she grinned, and slightly shrugged "one of us needs to pay and its' better you than poor little me"

"Poor little you, is gonna cost me most of my credits you know" he teased her playfully.

Their banter ended before it started due to the knock on his door. Then a women in black walked in, handing her father some documents. She eyed Riot with judgmental eyes.

"Sweetie, we have to cut this short I am afraid. I have to take care of these." Max looked genuinely apologetic.

"It's alright dad, have fun. I'll go and avoid my friends for a while" She smiled as she got up. She gave a small wave before she left his office.

She had spent most of her afternoon avoiding Lauren like plague. She knew she wasn't at fault and she knew Lauren would understand, but she wasn't ready to tell her. She just didn't wanted explain her and she was scared that Lauren would think she had overreacted or that she was just stupid.

Now, she was sitting at the bottom of the chasm, letting her feet soak to the freezing cold water. She didn't hear anyone walk until someone touched her shoulder. She jumped in sudden scare and cursed heavily to whomever scared her.

"Wow, sorry! Didn't mean to scare you like that" It was Zeke, he sat down next to Riot and offered her a smile.

She smiled back at him "It's okay, I am just extra jumpy today."

"So I heard you got into your first bar fight in dauntless. Let along you beat up your first potential boyfriend." He smiled sheepishly, easing himself into the conversation.

"Oh well, he had it coming."

"I am sure he did" his smile spread even more and he placed his head to her shoulder.

"Do you think Lauren hates me?" she asked cautiously, afraid of what she might hear.

Zeke only laughed at her question but when he realized she was serious, he looked at her face carefully before speaking;

"She is feeling awful for setting you up with him. She thinks she ruined it for you. She is only mad at herself and she thinks you are too. Considering you've been successfully avoiding her all day"

She sighed in relief, not knowing what to say except "Thank you."

"Anytime. Just talk to her, she feels really guilty."

"Me too. I am embarrassed." She admitted sadly.

"You have nothing to be embarrassed about and neither does she." He pulled her into a hug, wrapping his arm around her shoulder and pulling her close.

She leaned on him and rest her head on his shoulder. She sighed in relief. She didn't wanted to upset Lauren or ruin her date for her, she was feeling extremely guilty and she though Lauren was angry at her. Learning she was wrong, meant everything to her. She didn't wanted to lose her friends.

"Can I ask you something?" Zeke spoke some time later.

"Yeah sure, go ahead." She sensed he was somehow nervous, so she spoke cheerfully.

"Look, I don't wanna sound rude and I really don't want you to kick my ass too but how do I get rid of Mia?"

He sounded so worried that she couldn't help but laugh. "Sorry…" she laughed again, not really being able to contain herself.

"It's not funny you know" He pouted like a child and it only made her laugh more.

Once she calmed down, she replied his question "You tell her. You just have to communicate with her okay. She is not a mind reader, so go to her, tell her, and be kind. No need to be an ass about it okay."

He looked down and grinned at her "Got it. Talk and be nice. Okay."

"I am gonna go and find Lauren, wanna come with me?" She got up, taking support from Zeke, then she helped him get on his feet as well.

"Sure. I'd love to see you hug it out." He had a large grin on his face and she couldn't help but grin back.

"You know, you're a over grown puppy right?" She messes with his hair while all he does is to smile sheepishly.

He wrapped his arm around Riot protectively, they start walking towards the pit to find Lauren. The pit was crowded and people seem to whisper around, she noticed that people weren't vibrant as they should be. Something was clearly wrong.

She touched some guy's shoulder to get his attention and asked him what was wrong.

"Someone's dead." The guy said "They found him in a maintenance closet."

"Who? Who did they found?" Zeke asked him.

Some other women jumped to their conversation "James."

Her eyes went really big and then she lost her breath momentarily. She hold on to Zeke for support. All she could think about was Max. How could he do that? Why would he do that? Why would he not tell her?

She moved forward, leaving Zeke behind. She needed to see the body, to confirm. She needed to make sure. When she passed the crowd, she saw James lying on a body bag. Two people standing over him, ready to close it up.

She could see her father, and another leader with him. Then Byron with Lauren. The same time she looked at Byron, he looked at her and their eyes met. He furiously jumped towards her and pinned her down.

"YOU KILLED HIM!" He was screaming.

Then he start punching her, she raised her arms to protect her face, struggling under him. He was hitting her over and over again.

Then someone pulled him on top of her.

"YOU KILLED HIM! YOU KILLED HIM!"

He kept on screaming as Max pushed him to a wall and hit him. Now it was Max punching Byron out of rage, telling him to never touch his daughter like that again.

She jumped on her feet and grabbed her father's arm, trying to pull him off of Byron. Not wanting him to kill Byron.

"DAD! LET IT GO! DAD! PLEASE!" she was begging and screaming for her dad to stop but he wasn't listening.

"Dad!" she spoke calmly this time "He is just grieving, let him go. Please" she spoke softly to get through him, and she succeeded.

She watched as her father let Byron go, poor boy was beaten up pretty badly. His face almost unrecognizable.

"I didn't kill your friend but don't ever touch me again."

"Or what?" he spitted out "You kill me too?"

"No." she looked at him coldly "I'll make you suffer."

She took his father by the arm and walked him towards the nursery. She needed to get his hand checked, and maybe her face if it looked bad. She didn't like the way he accused her, but now everyone was gonna think it was her. There was no way changing that, in the minds of public, she was the murderer.

She skipped lunch and avoided everyone at all costs. Now, she was sitting alone in the training room, drinking a bottle of whisky she got from her father's apartment. They went there after doctor cleared them but she was too angry and too frustrated to even look at his father, let along stay in the same house with him. So she had grab the bottle from his cabinet and come down to the training room.

She was already slightly drunk, confused and angry. She put the bottle down and start punching the nearest punching bag. She was sloppy and her hand was starting to hurt. She repeatedly hit the bag with a great frustration, cursing to herself and to her father.

"Did you kill him?" a voice asked from the door.

She slightly jumped at the noise, when she turned to see who it was, she saw Four. Leaning at the door, looking straight to her.

"Will you believe me when I say no?" she took the bottle and sipped it.

"I will."

"Then the answer is no. No I did not kill him." She leaned at the wall as well, then slide down in a sitting position.

"I believe you." He walked towards her, sitting down next to her.

"Why?"

"Cause you are smart. Hypothetically, how would you kill him?" He raised his brow in a questioning way, curious about her answer.

"Let me think…" she took a large sip before speaking "I wouldn't rush. I would wait for months, carefully watching him, learning, observing. I would wait so I wouldn't be the immediate suspect like today. I would learn his habits, so I would know when and where to hit him. I would make it look like an accident. So no one would look at it twice and think murder. It would be a drunken mistake. And that's from top of my head."

"You'd hunt him" He said carefully, then nodded to himself.

"Yes."

"Enjoy that drink okay?" He got up and get ready to leave.

"Tobias" she said his name so softly, he paused then turned to look at her "I am a good person, I swear."

"I know. But that doesn't mean you'll do good things. I've witnessed good people do terrible things."

She didn't respond, she just focused on finding the bottom of the bottle like she always did. She was in a state of self-loathing, anger, and frustration. She was mad at herself, to her father, and to James. She was fuming. She had tried so hard, so hard to be good, do good but she had the same violent urges as her father. Her eyes would go black too quickly, too fast. Her anger would burn fast but the damage would be irreparable.

She was angry at her father for killing James but she was angrier at herself for not feeling bad about it. She was glad that he had died, she was joyous and happy and indifferent at the same time. She should have been sad to cause a young men die. She should have but faith has it, she didn't have much of a heart.

She threw the bottle, and it smashed it to the ground. She got up and leave the room. She needed fresh air, she needed to breath. Her lungs were burning and her skin was crawling.

After calming herself down, she was ready to confront her father and confirm her suspicions about his involvement to the murder.

She walked to his apartment and knocked on his door. He was clearly expecting her because he answered the door in mere seconds. He looked nervous, and calm at the same time. She walked in without saying a word and sit on his couch.

"Did you?" she looked at him straight in the eyes.

"No" he replied as he sit down in front of her.

He looked honest, but her father was a good liar. She was drunk and he was good. So trusting her Candor skills wasn't an option.

She looked at him thoroughly. He looked calm and reserved but she could tell by his hands he was nervous. His fingers was doing that twitchy thing he did whenever he was angry. She didn't understand why he was angry, why would he be angry?

"You're angry." She simply reported her observation and her father rolled his eyes.

"Fuck right I am." While he spoke calmly, his words carried his anger "My daughter is accusing me of murder."

"Fuck right I am." She echoed his words "My father is the one with a motive."

"Shut your mouth. You know it wasn't me!" he clenched his fists as if he wanted to punch something.

"Don't tell me to shut up you ass!"

"How could you think it was me! Think Riot! Use your fucking brain!" As he spoke he continuously tapped his finger to his skull.

"Because I've seen you kill!"

"YES!" he yelled "Finally! You've seen me kill. Do you think I would do this huh?"

"I DON'T KNOW!" She yelled back at him.

"I TAUGHT YOU HOW TO KILL AND HOW TO FUCKING GET AWAY WITH IT!"

"Yes. Yes you did!" She screamed at his face.

Both of them were fuming in anger.

"Then how the fuck you think I killed that little fuckboy!"

"I don't know" she sighed in frustration and closed her eyes, rubbing her temples. "I don't know."

She felt Max sit next to her and she opened her eyes, she smiled at her father as she snuggled close to him. He wrapped his arms around him, making her feel safe. He kissed the top of her head.

"I didn't do it Riot." He said calmly, this time making Riot believe.

She took his hand in hers, and nod "I know daddy. I know."

They sit together there for a while, not really talking. They wanted to give each other the time to calm down and let their anger go away. They both were also struggling with the question of who did kill James if not Riot or Max.

"You know people will ask, and there will be an official investigation. So where were you last night?"

"I was with Eric. He found me crying and shaking." She sighed, not wanting to remember what a mess she was.

"The boy from the bar?" He asked curiously, wondering whom she was hanging out with.

"Yes. He is…" she paused, not knowing how to describe Eric "different. I suppose."

"What did you two do?" he was more intrigued now, his daughter had never have issues about being on point with people and their characteristics.

"We got new piercings." She pointed her eyebrow.

"Ah I noticed it, they look beautiful on you."

"I know." She chuckled "Then we got drunk a little bit, went outside. Then our little party got crushed by group of other drunk people so, naturally we drink more. Then we went to bed."

"Separately?"

"At first." She chuckled at his father's words.

"You like him?"

"I do, he makes me feel safe." She spoke fondly of him.

"That's good baby. Just, be careful."

"I always am." She reassured her father but was amused by how he still got worried over her. It wasn't that he didn't trust her to make the right choice, he always trusted her, it was because they always found a way to hurt her in the end.

He sighed pulled her close, hugging her tightly before letting her go. He left to the kitchen while she stayed seated on the couch. She grabbed the remote from the table and turned the tv on. She channel surfed for a while, then stopped at one of the Dauntless channels, it was showing a match from last night.

A women named Sigma was fighting with another man named Jenner. She had seen this women on tv before and sometimes around the compound, she was a very good fighter. Someone Riot wouldn't want to cross.

Her father returned from the kitchen, holding a plate filled with small sandwiches.

"You skipped lunch. Eat it." He put the plate in front of her and urged her to eat.

She took a bite from one of the sandwiches and smiled at her father, giving a thumbs up to show him that she liked it.

Max sat down to the arm chair and lift his feet up to the coffee table. Riot lied down to the couch, placed the plate to her tummy, she crossed her legs and continued to watch the fight.

She was walking towards her dorm when Amar found her. He had a broom in his hand and he looked amused and angry at the same time. He pushed the broom to her hand and grabbed her arm.

"I've seen the mess you made in my training room. Come on, you have to clean before someone cuts themselves."

She snickered, remembering the broken whiskey bottle she left there. "I am not saying you are wrong but how did you know it was me?"

"You are the only drunk I know." He grinned sheepishly

"I am not drunk, I am a high functioning alcoholic."

"A drunk" he grinned again and she couldn't help but laugh with him.

"I am sorry by the way" She rubbed back of her neck nervously "I was angry."

"I would be too if I was accused of murder" he smiled sympathetically and opened the door for her to walk in.

She smiled as she walked in, then she saw the mess she did. She start cleaning up without making Amar say it again. As she cleaned, she also sang. It was an old song she used to sing as a child.

"O, my name was Captain Kidd,

as I sailed, as I sailed,

O, my name was Captain Kidd,

as I sailed.

My name was Captain Kidd

And God's laws I did forbid,

And so wickedly I did

as I sailed, as I sailed.

So wickedly I did

as I sailed."

Amar was leaning on the wall, watching her work and listening to her sing. He must've enjoy because he was whistling with the tune. Once she was finished with the cleaning, she got rid of the glasses. She handed Amar the broom and smiled.

"Can I ask you something?"

"No, I don't think you killed him" He replied to her question even before she managed to ask. Maybe she was losing her edge.

"Thanks." She touched his arm in a friendly way and smiled.

"I saw you last night drinking with a group of my friends. They spoke of you" Amar smiled back at her

"I don't remember much to be honest. By the time they found me, I was pretty drunk"

"You are always drunk. I don't think none of us seen you sober."

"I function better when drunk."

He rolled his eyes to her but kept smiling which was a good sign.

"I also saw you with Eric."

"Ah" she bit her lip and looked at him like a kid who just got busted.

"Clearly you like him. My advice, sleep with him. It'll do wonders for your mood." He grinned at her, then left the room, leaving her there.

She was sitting at the bar, talking to Sal, sipping her drink. They were brain storming on who could have killed James. He believed it wasn't her, he had seen her all day at the bar with Eric and the other. He also concluded that she was too drunk to kill anyone. She indeed was wasted. They were all too drunk, maybe except Eric but even he had too much of to drink.

"I just don't get it Sal" She held her head between her hands in desperation, then sighed.

"You'll figure it out kiddo. If not, it's not the end of the world trust me." He patted her head in a friendly way, and she smiled at him.

"Can I have a dirty martini with extra olives? I feel like that's the drink for a murder investigation" she smiled at him, trying to cheer them both up.

She and Sal was getting along pretty good, aside Max, Sal was somewhat becoming a father figure. He had told her, she reminded him her daughter Christine. Christine had left Dauntless and become factionless, when one night she got attacked and lose her leg. He said since Christine was younger than sixteen, she was allowed (just like any other factionless born kids) to take her aptitude test and be on the choosing ceremony. He told Riot that, she choose Amity. He was pretty excited to go and visit her on visiting day.

"Of course you can." He smiled as he start preparing her drink.

"I don't get it Sal, I thought it was dad. I mean he loves me enough to kill for me but it's not him, I am so confused."

He placed her martini in front of her before speaking "Let it go kid, what good will it do anyway. Will you turn them in?"

"No."

"Then stop looking." He smiled "I have to go and take care other customers, enjoy your drink"

"Thanks Sal." She gave a little wave and finished her drink in one go. Then she slowly started to eat the olives.

She sat there, thinking about the possibilities of who killed James. Sal was right, she wasn't going to turn them in or anything, but it mattered to her. It showed certain skills, certain feelings. She thought about the fact that James had other enemies but she was never the one for coincidences. She had a small circle of friends here, all of them where skilled enough to kill James. All trained to fight and eliminate treats.

She sighed, rubbing her temples. She just couldn't think strait. She hit her fist to the wooden bar in frustration and growled. Sal only looked at her and shook his head.

She got up, leaving the bar but not before she grabbed a bottle of rum. Rum was one of her favorites. She went outside, thinking maybe smoking would help.

"Hi" someone was shaking her shoulder and looking at her worried.

"What now?" She rubbed her temple. She must've passed out while drinking.

She was sitting up, backed up to the wall. She had a massive headache.

"Are you okay?" he asked again, he looked familiar.

She grabbed the bottle of rum and shake it upside down, she frowned when she saw it was empty.

"I am fine, go away." She practically growled at him but he made a move towards her.

"You are drunk, let me take you to your house." He grabbed her by shoulders but she headbutted him.

"Get away from me!" she hissed slowly, then sit back down.

"Fine! Have it your way bitch" he cleaned the blood of his nose and left her alone.

She was left alone once again, she looked up to the sky, it was getting dark. Dinner time was probably close. She felt her stomach growl and tell her she was hungry. She sighed and tried to get up but her head spin got worse, so she decided to not move for a while.

She growled quietly to herself, she hated the fact that she was drunk but she needed it, she needed the numbness alcohol provided. That was the only way she could get through the day without hating herself or losing her mind.

She must've passed out again because she felt someone shake her once again. This time it was Zeke and Lauren. Zeke was poking her, while Lauren was looking concerned.

"Hi" She smiled at them "So good to see you Lauren. I am so so so so so sorry for ruining your date."

She chuckled as she sat next to her "It's fine, Byron and I are over anyway."

"I am sorry" she frowned deeply, knowing she caused it.

"Don't be. He had no right to do what he did today." She smiled at Riot, trying to get relieve her guilt.

"Wait, how you found me?" She looked at them confused.

"Some guy was complaining about a drunk bitch hitting him." Zeke grinned.

"We just assume, every drunk angry women is you. Just to be safe." Lauren grinned as well.

She rolled her eyes and wrapped her arms around both of them, pulling them into a hug.

"I love you guys!"

"We love you too!" Both chimed at the same time, then they all giggled.

Zeke got up, pulling her along the way, then he scooped her. "You need to sober up a little before dinner, come on I'm taking you to the dorms"

She smiled and murmured a thank you, then she passed out quietly in his arms.

She was sitting at the initiates table, waiting Zeke to return with some food. She had a massive headache and sleeping actually did make it worse. Lauren was also sitting next to her, talking about the upcoming funeral for James. She knew Dauntless did not wait, as soon as you were dead, your funeral was a go. She didn't wanted to go to the funeral but Lauren was insisting and she had made a good point about looking guilty. Also she mentioned free booze and that did the trick for Riot.

"Here you go! Some potatoes, two cheeseburgers and soda." Zeke put down a tray in front of her, smiling as he reported what he got her for dinner.

"Thank you." She smiled genuinely and give him a friendly pat on the arm before he sat down.

He gave a worried look to Lauren without Riot noticing and Lauren gave a small nod in return.

"Riot?" Lauren spoke slowly, trying to find her words "Are you okay?... I mean…"

"We mean, you've been accused of murder today and we did find you passed out…" Zeke helped her out

"We are just worried." Lauren finally finished, looking at Riot, hoping she wouldn't get mad.

Riot smiled at them and sighed sadly. She was a terrible friend for letting them see the mess she was making and forcing them to deal with it. But she was also glad to know that they had her back.

"I am okay guys, I mean. I am not okay, but I am" She tried to explain her weird situation to them.

Lauren rubbed Riot's back, trying to get her to relax.

"You know you can talk to us." Zeke smiled at her, still looking worried.

"I know Zeke, thank you. You and Lauren are the best friends anyone can ever ask for." She smiled at them, not really knowing how to show her love.

They both smiled at her and turned back to their plates, giving her some space to think. She was really appreciative for that space, for a moment, it allowed her to think thoroughly about what was happening today. It was a hectic day and she was still so clueless. She hated being like that. Not knowing.

On the other side Lauren and Zeke was really worried about her, they were starting to realize her drinking was a huge problem. Riot thought she should expect a speech about it from them later.

Then there was Byron and rest of the people who believed her to be a murderer. Sure she could be but she knew how to kill, she knew how to make sure no one would find the body and not to leave evidence. She knew how to kill and James was not her work but people had already made up their minds. At least this way it was ensured no man would actually try and touch her in foreseeable future.

"Riot?" A voice interrupted her thought process, she turned back and saw Byron.

"Leave her alone" Zeke ready to defend her, with Lauren sending murderous looks to Byron.

"I am here to apologize. I shouldn't have hit you like that."

"But you still think I killed your friend." She rolled her eyes and sighed "Well it's okay, my father fucked you up pretty badly on my account, so I accept you apology."

He nodded and turned around to leave them alone. Lauren was shaking her head disapprovingly while Zeke was clenching his jaw in anger. With the corner of her eyes, she saw Eric smirk looking directly to Byron.

At least someone was enjoying it.

She was in front of the mirror, applying her make-up. They were all getting ready for James's funeral and Lauren insisted that Riot looked beautiful. It was hard to make her look beautiful but she could manage. She applied some foundation, smoky eyes, some dark lipstick. Then she put on a nice black dress on.

"You look beautiful." Zeke appeared behind her with a huge grin on his lips.

"It's a gift." She turned around, offering him a generous smile in return.

"We are ready to go. Lauren is waiting outside." He offered her his arm and she took it.

They walked outside, finding Lauren leaning against the wall.

"Finally" She took his other arm and three of them joined to the crowd walking to the pit.

She looked around the crowd, trying to figure out who was genuinely James's friend and grieving. She certainly wasn't. She was happy that he died but she wanted to avoid James's friends at all cost. Considering they believed her to be the killer and they could attack her. She was punched enough for one day.

When they finally arrived to the pit, her father was standing on top of a rock, getting ready to deliver the eulogy. She could see in his face that he would prefer to get fucked by cactus than be there at his funeral.

They stayed on the back of the crowd, not really getting in to it. It wasn't like they cared. Her father started to talk after everyone was there, he talked about the bravery in death, and how we are all gonna miss James. Then some of his friends talked about him. She was zoned out most of the time but she could pick out words like "good friend", "will be missed", "amazing person", "such a brave man".

"Fucking bullshit." Eric leaned behind her and whispered to her ear.

"I know. I can read their fucking faces and they are all lying. They knew James was absolute shit." She whispered back to him.

"Tck tck, don't speak ill of the dead sweetie" she could feel his grin behind her.

"I don't think that motherfucker is going to hear it, after all, he is busy being dead."

"I know." He sounded dull "he fucking deserved it."

She turned around really fast and almost lost her balance. Eric grabbed her by the arm, cutting her fall before it even happened.

She pulled her arm with force and stormed towards hallway. She knew Eric was fallowing him. He knew she had just figured it out.

He pulled open the door of a maintenance closet and pushed her inside, walking in right after her.

"You motherfucker!" She hissed angrily at him "you killed him." She was pointing her finger at him angrily.

He pushed her to the wall and covered her mouth with his hand. "Shut the fuck up for a moment. Can you do that for me?"

She nodded and he let her go.

"So how did you figured it out?" At least he wasn't denying it.

"It wasn't my father. It wasn't Zeke or Lauren, they would only go as far as to beat the living fuck out of him. But you…" she grinned "you have… what I have. You get off on violence. You. Are. Capable of great damage. It had to be you."

"You're a clever girl." He smirked

"When did you decide to kill him?" She leaned her back to the wall, completely relaxed.

"You come to my bed that night, after you fall asleep, I decided to take a walk. It helps with the dreams. I saw him and his friends and he was talking about you. After his friends left, I went to him and demanded that he apologize to you. He said over my dead body…"

"So you took him to his word" she completed his story for him.

"Yeah." He shrugged softly.

"You left the body in way you knew that would be found the next day. You wanted them to suspect me."

"I did."

"Thank you." She smiled softly at him. She knew his reasons, she already had shit ton of alibi to clear her name but if people suspected, they would be scared and if they were scared, they would stay away from her. He did that to make sure no one made her feel uncomfortable again.

"I kinda wanna kiss you right now" he grinned

"But you won't." She smirked back at him.

"No I won't"

"Why?" She licked her lips, she did wanted to kiss him.

"Because I want you to kiss me." He opened the door but didn't leave.

"Maybe I will" she said as she moved from her stop, she stood close to him while speaking, then she left.

He fallowed right behind her, wrapped his arms around him from behind and rested his chin on her shoulder.

"You are not mad at me aren't you?" his voice was clear of all teasing or flirting, he was asking for real.

"No I am not but next time please tell me." She turned around and placed her hands on his chest. "Please."

"So you think there will be a next time?" He arched his brow and his playful smirk returned

"A man like you will always find an excuse to kill."

"I did this because I care about you, you know that right?" he was looking straight to her eyes

"But you also did because you enjoy it." She smiled, caressed his cheek softly "it's nothing to be ashamed of. You need this."

He gulped visibly he was processing what she had said, then his lips curled into a soft, easy, smile.

"Wanna go and get disgustingly drunk?" he asked, fully knowing she would never say no.

She was sitting at the booth, waiting for Eric to return with their drinks. Her eyes were focused on him, he was talking to Sal as he was preparing their drinks. Then he was laughing at something Sal said. She smiled when she heard his laugh, she liked that sound. It was almost melodic. She liked a lot of things about him, she cared for him in a different way. She wasn't afraid of him, even though that would be the wise choice. Eric wasn't a good man, he was twisted and dark with even darker impulses. But he was also empty in a way she understood. She had never met a man broken as Eric. When she stripped him down to his core, all she could see was pain and that look of desperation in his eyes.

"So I got us bottle of rum, bottle of gin, and a bottle of Irish whiskey"

"Thank you sweetheart" she poured them whiskey shots for first round "it tastes amazing."

He chuckled before taking a shot himself. Then they continued to take the shots without talking. At first few ones they simply clinked their glasses before drinking, and then around fifth shot, they wrapped their arms together and drink like that. Then they hold the glass for each other which resulted with them spilling most of their drink. And for the last round, she stole his shot while he was looking away.

"Cheater."

"You snooze, you lose."

He rolled his eyes at her as he filled their empty shot glasses with rum. He knew she liked rum, he knew lots of things about her by simply just observing. He knew her eyes looked hallow, like the life was sucked out of her. She was like a broken glass along the floor, in pieces, sharp, dangerous, but somehow still beautiful.

"Can you sing for me?" he leaned back, with his drink at hand.

She took a shot for courage, then she nodded to him with a smile;

"Here's a Health to the King and a lasting Peace

To Faction an end, to Wealth increase;

Come, let us drink it while we have Breath

For there's no drinking after Death…"

He closed his eyes and listened to Riot sing, she had a beautiful voice, even when she was drunk and slurring her words. He wanted to kiss her, he really did but he needed her to kiss first. He needed her to show it was okay for him to kiss her. He knew she had personal boundaries more strict than most people, he tried not to cross them, and she was usually the one who initiated things between them. Until he knew it was okay for her, he didn't wanted to be the one taking the first steps.

So instead thinking about kissing her, he focused on her singing again. She could easily be one of those mermaid people who lured men to their death by singing. He remember reading about them in marine biology class.

"…Down among the dead Men,

Down among the dead Men,

Down, down, down, down

Down among the dead Men let him lie."

When she finished her song, Eric clapped slowly, which made her smile. Then he pushed some of the locks out of her hair and looked at her eyes.

"You sing beautifully"

"Thank you." She bit her lip to suppress the huge grin that was forming on her face.

He filled their glasses again and pushed it in front of her.

"Thank you, again" she drank her shot and sighed peacefully.

She was drunk, he was drunk, but she could go all day.

She stumbled back to the dorms with Eric, they were both pretty fucked up and barely walk. She was surprised that they didn't fall to their death while crossing the chasm. They supported each other as they walk towards Eric's bed, their heads bumping each other, giggling, singing a little.

They fall down to Eric's bed and they both started to giggle.

"Shhh" Eric covered her mouth and tried to whisper "No noise"

She giggled as she nodded frantically. Then she got up, trying to find her own bed. She didn't wanted to leave Eric but she also needed sleep, and her bed, and maybe some shower.

She felt her body go numb for a second, then she blacked out completely.

Her body was being dragged along the cold floor, she could vaguely feel it, though she was in no shape to say or do anything against. She could feel her skin slightly being peeled due to hard surface underneath her.

Then they stopped and she felt herself being pushed again. She heard the water running, before she could object, she was soaking wet.

"Riot, open up your eyes." Someone was calling her name.

Same someone was shaking her and slapping her. "Please, open your fucking eyes."

"Zeke! Go get her father."

"No…" she finally responded "No daddy."

"Riot, you are fucked up. You blacked out, you understand that? You fucked up your brain with so much alcohol that it shut itself down."

"Fuck off Lauren" she was slightly getting better. Sobering up due to cold water.

"I worry about you, Zeke worries about you" her voice was softer now.

"And I worry about me too but that's just how it is. I am better drunk than I am when sober."

"Wow, what happened to you?" she closed the water and wrapped a large towel around her shoulders.

"I love Eric." She just blurted it out to Lauren "I think he loves me too."

She heard Lauren chuckled a little, the dark mood lighting up. Right before she could say anything to Riot, Zeke and her father walk in. She saw the disappointed look on his face, mixed with fear and anger.

"She'll stay with me tonight. Thank you for waking me up." He doesn't even look directly at Riot.

He pulled her up and scoop her up, carrying her back to his apartment.

She stepped out of his father's bedroom, fully changed into dry clothes. He was waiting for her in the living room. She sat down to the couch and her father handed her a blanket to keep herself warm. She thanked him and wrapped the blanket around herself.

"I am sorry daddy"

"I understand, you are not the first person to find herself at the end of many bottles just to go through the day."

"I am not apologizing for that, I am not apologizing for the ways I try to kill my sadness."

"You are not trying to kill your sadness, you are trying to kill yourself."

She sighed but didn't correct him. He got up from his seat and sit next to Riot, he wrapped his arm around her and she leaned on her father for support.

She knew she had a problem with alcohol, she knew it was going to be the death of her one day. But for today, she didn't had the need to apologize, today she drank for friendship, love, and happiness.

"It was Eric who killed James" she told her father

Her father laughed loudly, shaking his head "Unbelievable. Fucking unbelievable."

"What is?" She asked amused.

"You finally make a boyfriend and he is a murderer." He was amused just as she was.

"I am going to sleep daddy, love you" she kissed his cheek and get up "Also he is not my boyfriend, we are just friends"

"Just friends huh?" he smiled at her daughter "Just friends don't steal glances at each other. Just friends don't get jealous when the other is talking about someone else. Just friends don't get butterflies from each other. Just friends also don't hold each other like that. Just friends, yeah right"

"You think I should kiss him?"

"Nah, he only murdered a boy for you." He chuckled as he rolled his eyes.

"You're right, I should kiss him."

"You take the bed sweetie, I'll sleep at the couch" he dismissed her after kissing her cheek.


	5. Chapter 5

After a week of Dauntless fights, she was tired. She was tired in the good way though. Fights gave her an excuse to drink, and to force violence upon others. It allowed her to take her anger out of other's without the consequences of it. Everyone had seen that when she broke Mia's nose, and her jaw, and her ribs. Eric was the one who was more impressed. Every time she had strike someone down, beat them into submission, Eric was there, watching and enjoying. He could see how much she was enjoying herself and how much violence was inside her. Every time, she looked down to see her knuckles bruised and covered in someone's blood, she was smiling and so was he.

Today was different though, they were about to fight against each other. Eric was either gonna break her bones, or she was going to break his. It wasn't in their nature to take it slow, simply because they liked each other, they were both competitive, and they both enjoyed the pain they could inflict on each other.

So they were sitting across each other at the breakfast table, eating their toast and eggs while thinking deeply. Eric was thinking about how he was going to hate enjoying hurting her and whether or not that would cause her to hate him. Riot was thinking about how she was going to hurt him and whether or not she could contain herself just enough to not give him anything permanent.

"Don't hit my nose okay? It's a pretty nose" she leaned towards him across the table.

"And why wouldn't I do that? I do agree you have a pretty nose but…"

"If you don't hit my nose, I won't hit you dick. I know you have a piercing on you cock, I know that's where you got it when we went to get together. I know it takes time to heal. So, think. Getting kicked in the balls hurts like a motherfucker no matter what but it hurts even more when you have a metal something inserted." She grinned while speaking ever word, slowly and building up.

"Let me think about it" he grinned back, talking it slow

They were negotiation, sure they were friends but both were ambitious, both wanted to be the best, both would rather swallowing their blood than their pride. So they were slowly dancing around the idea of a deal, something beneficial for both of them.

"Alright" he finally said after some time "I'll stay clear of your nose and you stay clear of my dick."

She nodded and they shook hands on it, both would expect the other to be dishonest but none would cross the line unless other crossed it first.

"This is bound to be very interesting, we've been fighting and learning together for so long."

"Our bodies know each other" he smiled at her "maybe not in the way I'd hope for but still."

"Winner pays for the drinks okay? That's at least I can do for you." She said jokingly with a silly grin on her face.

"If you say so princess" he winked at her playfully with a similarly playful grin on his lips.

She got up to leave but before she left the dining room she run her fingers through his black hair, then leaned to kiss top of his head. During the whole process, he didn't move, he just let them have this small moment of affection. She had not kissed him like he hoped. There were secrets that kept her away, anytime she had come close to kissing him, she had found a reason to pull herself back. She was starting to be comfortable about small gestures of affection though. She was hugging him in public, holding his hand sometimes, or just like now. She was gentle with him and slow.

"It'll see you around Eric." She gave him a one last smile before leaving the dining room.

She walked to the training rooms, fully aware Four would be there. He was always there, every morning at the training rooms and every night at the fear landscape room. That boy never took a break. She heard him punching the bag before she even entered the room, then she saw him practicing. Holding himself back for some reason. She had watched him fight over the week and he had always holding himself back, trying to avoid making any sort of damage. He was afraid of violence.

"Morning." She spoke as she took position against the punching bag right next to him.

"Good Morning." He said automatically, not even looking to see who spoke.

She corrected her posture and take a stance, then start hitting the bag. She packed a punch for sure but she needed more to beat Eric. Not only he was strong and talented, he was also very smart and cunning. He could think on his feet very well, adapt quickly, and anticipate his opponent's moves. She was very well capable of doing all that herself but it would be stupid to underestimate Eric. Their fight was going to be more like a dance, both demanding submission, pushing each other, seizing boundaries.

So she needed to fight better, be faster, stronger, play dirtier. She needed to win, desperately. And even if she lost, she was going to do a lot of damage. Their fight was around lunch time, and they weren't required to watch others before them fight, so she was going use those precious hours to fight and learn even more. She knew all the moves Eric made during a fight, but he also knew all her moves. She needed to change the way she attacked, punched, defended. She needed to change her steps and don't be predictable.

While she practiced she also kept an eye on Four. Something about him just made Riot curious, he was reserved, had no friend, he was determined to not have any friends or enemies. He always hold himself back, he had an incredible resistance to pain and he knew how to protect himself from punches. She had watched him fight, he had skills of a regular fighter but he did not fight. No, he just defended himself when necessary and mostly protected himself from the punches. Only person who noticed Four the same way she did was Amar.

She and Amar had developed a friendship over the weeks she'd been here but especially after James incident, they've been closer. He was furious when he learned she had passed out middle of the dorm and had to be dragged to the showers. He was trying to support her, trying to get her talk about what had happened to her. He was proving to be a good friend outside the training rooms.

"I hope you win today" Four spoke, much to her surprise.

"Thank you." She smiled kindly as he left the training room.

She trained for about another two hours but when the clock on the wall showed 10.30am, she decided to stop and not tire herself much longer. Instead she decided to relax a little bit. She left the training rooms and made her way to the dorms. She was hoping to find Zeke or Lauren, hopefully both. She was in fact successful. They were both sitting at Zeke's bed, chatting about something she couldn't hear from the distance. They waved at her when they noticed her and she gladly walked towards them. Lauren moved a little aside to give Riot some space to sit.

"Hello kiddies, how goes the day?" She grinned at them cheerfully.

"Not much, Zeke is telling me about this girl she met. He has a date." Lauren wiggled her eyebrows at them, then proceed to make kissing noises.

"Oh shut up, it's not a date. We are just gonna have some coffee."

"That's a date honey." She smiled at Zeke and pat his shoulder.

"You would know wouldn't you?" Zeke said with a playful smile, talking about the time she was spending with Eric.

"He is not my boyfriend, he is my friend."

"If getting coffees is a date, then drinking together also counts as date." He used her own words against her.

"He is my drinking buddy." She smiled, trying to hide her amusement.

"My father has drinking buddies, he drinks with them every Friday after work. I don't think he wants to fuck any of them" Lauren added to support Zeke's point.

"Fine, I do like him. Gods knows I like him a lot. But we are not dating. I didn't even kissed him."

"What's holding you back?" Zeke frowned a little "You are a person who goes after what she wants."

"I am. I am just, having doubts."

"About what?" Lauren held Riot's hand and gently rubbed it.

"Personal stuff…" she sighed in defeat "Agh, fuck it. Let's talk about cheerful stuff."

"Alright" Zeke smiled and changed the subject "Are you excited for your fight?"

"I am full of adrenalin" She grinned.

She was nervous but she would never admit that. She had much to prove. To her father, to Eric, to Amar, and mostly to herself. She needed to prove herself that she belonged here, she belonged with her father and the Dauntless. Sure she was guaranteed to pass initiation but she wanted to be the best. She wouldn't settle for anything less.

"I wish we could watch you sweetie but Zeke has a fight and I promised to watch him." Lauren sound genuinely upset about not being able to support both her friends at the same time.

"I understand. Don't worry, I'll be fine" she smiled at Lauren to let her know it was okay.

She hugged Lauren and Zeke joined them too, for a moment they stayed like that. She was grateful to have these two as her friends. Normally, she wouldn't even attempt to make friends but on that day on the roof, she saw how relaxed Zeke was and how down to earth, and she wanted to know him. He turned out to be a real life size puppy and a great friend who supported her and defended her at all costs. It was same with Lauren, she was a strong women with strong moral code, who understood Riot and provided her much needed girl support she never had. These two were quickly becoming her family and gods knew she needed at least one stable family in her life.

"I love you guys but I gotta go" She untangled herself from the hug.

"Go kick some ass."

"Go Riot!"

Both cheered after her as she slowly run towards the exit. She stopped at the door, turned and waved at them, then continued to her way to the training rooms.

She walked slowly towards the training rooms, not the one she practiced but the one where the fights were happening. She could hear people cheering, and punch being thrown, the sounds made her feel right at home. She walked inside and stood next to Eric.

He looked at her for a moment but turned his eyes back to the fight quickly. She stood next to him, watching the fight happening between the two candor boys. Both she had fight, both she had won. She had never lost before but neither did Eric. She was starting to get really nervous, that's when Eric took her hand in his and squeezed it a little.

She sighed I relief, relaxing a little. She loved Eric for knowing when to comfort her and when to leave her be, but she also hated Eric for knowing her insecurities and weaknesses. Because she knew, all mistakes and all weaknesses could be exploited.

"It's okay." He whispered to her, so only they could hear "You are good Riot, very good. Don't worry, if you lose, it won't be because you made mistakes or you were bad. Everyone knows you belong here."

She nodded slowly, with a soft appreciative smile on her lips. Eric's words helped her relax a little bit, shake down her nervousness. She knew he was nervous as well, but she knew better than to address it. She knew his previous words for not just her but for him as well. He was afraid of losing just as much as she.

"Eric, Riot, you're up" Amar's voice cut their thoughts and brought them back to reality.

She saw the Candor boys limping down from the arena, probably going to the nurse's station. She took a deep breath and let Eric's hand go. She slowly walked arena, talking her time. He stretched his body like a cat before walking to the arena, right after her.

Once she was in the arena, her nervousness disappeared. Now she was focused and ready to fight. She took her stance and focused her eyes on Eric. Trying to anticipate his moves. This was to be a big chess game.

He took a stance as well, raising his arms in a defensive position, his feet balance and ready to move.

She took a deep breath, and the fight started. It all happened very quickly, he throw a punch at her but she moved her head to the side, barely saving herself, then she moved her arm up, hit him on the chin with her palm. He flinched but didn't take a step back, he throw his other arm around her and pulled her head closer while his free arm was against her throat. Leaving her in a weird chokehold, but not for long. He throw her away, making her go off balance. Then repeatedly punching her stomach, but she found her balance quickly and attacked him and landed few punches herself. Then she jumped on him, making them both go down, she landed on him. She sat up, putting one of her leg between his, then try to choke him. He lifted his leg up, and pushed her away by kicking her stomach.

She groaned in pain but managed to get up on her feet quickly, just as he. His face looked terrible, there were some claw marks on his neck, and bruises were starting to color on his jaw. She imagined herself to look even worse.

Eric walked towards her and the fight continued from where it was left. Everything was happening so fast and she was feeling her body starting to go weak. Punches and kicks flying all over the arena. Then she found herself on the ground, Eric kicking her on the stomach over and over again. That's when she felt the blood on her mouth and she tried to get up but Eric was quick. They had been fighting for a while now, and they needed the winner soon. With one last kick to her head, Eric knocked her out cold.

"Fuck!" she whispered in pain as she started to wake up fully. She rubbed her eyes before she opened them and hissed once again in pain. Right now, everything was hurting, her head was pounding, her body felt light, shaky, and weak. But mostly her stomach hurt like hell.

"She's waking up" someone said in a low voice and she could heard bunch of other people hum as well.

She took a deep breath which made her body ache, then fully opened her eyes. She was in the hospital wing, her father, her friends, and Eric at her side. A doctor waiting on the other side of the bed. She was the same doctor who treated her ribs.

"It's nice to see you are coming out of it. You had a small internal bleeding on your stomach. It was triggered by trauma to the area as well as your severe drinking. We took the bleeding under control but you have to stay under observation for a while." She finished reporting her injuries then left them alone.

"Hi dad" She smiled at her father who looked worried, she reached towards his hand.

He took her hand and sit down to her bed "Hi sweetie."

"Guys can I have some time alone with dad please?" she had few things to tell her father.

She swallowed her nervousness and waited for her friends to vacate the room. She knew her father didn't watched the fight and she was actually glad for it, she didn't wanted him to see her lose, but she had still lost and she wasn't happy about it. She needed to know, she did not disappoint her father in anyway.

"Dad?" she asked so softly, almost fragile "Are you proud of me?"

His face softened and he squeezed her hand "Of course I am Riot, why would you think otherwise?"

"Because I lost. I rarely lose." She looked down, ashamed of losing.

"Oh sweetie, no one is expecting you to win every fight you've been into. You win some, you lose some. Either way, I will always be proud of you."

"Thanks dad, I really needed to hear that" She tried to sit up a little and hug him, only to hurt herself and hiss in pain.

"Dad, can you bring Eric here? I need to talk to him" She smiled and lied back down again.

She needed to see Eric and confront him. She knew he cheated, she knew Eric had medical knowledge and that he focused on her stomach area. He knew she could get an internal bleeding by severe trauma and her alcoholism would make it much easier. Eric, had cheated. She was sure of it.

"Sure I'll send him know. Take it slow okay" He leaned and kissed her cheek before leaving her alone.

Moments later Eric walked in to the room. She crossed her eyes and lifted one eyebrow, daring him to come clean.

"You… fucking… cheated." She grinned at him and he looked down.

"Did you expected anything less?" He sat down to her bed, smiling a little.

"No. I would probably cheat too if I wasn't bleeding internally." She was somehow sarcastic but serious at the same time.

"I knew you wouldn't die. If that helps. I would never hurt you like that." He sounded so genuine and actually caring.

"Did you enjoyed it?"

"I did" he sighed "I am sorry."

She took his hand and smiled reassuringly "Guilt is the price we willingly pay for doing what we were going to do anyway."

"So you are not angry?" He asked in a hopeful voice and visibly relaxed when she nodded affirmatively.

"I enjoyed it too" she looked down "I enjoyed hurting you, I even enjoyed the taste of my blood. The adrenalin, the rush, violence. How could I be angry at you for enjoying the same things I do, hate you for cheating while I would do the same when I got the chance."

"If I had not cheated, you'd probably win. I did some math, numbers were on your side."

"Did you took into account that I would cheat?"

"I did. Even without no one cheating, your numbers were higher than me."

She reached up and caressed his cheek, then smiled brightly at him "How about we fight again when I am better. No cheating or points, just to see if your numbers were correct."

"It's a date then" he smiled just as brightly and get up "Visiting hours will end in couple hours and your friends are anxious to see you, I'll send them on my way out."

"Okay, thanks" She bit her lip and smiled once again.

Five minutes later Zeke and Lauren walked into her room, both smiling, they sat on each side of her bed and gave her hugs before settling down.

"You gave us a scare there Riot!" Lauren pouted a little, it was clear that she was worried about Riot.

"She was so worried" Zeke confirmed but his voice let her know that he was just as worried as Lauren.

"I am fine guys, I feel energetic, I did not die or anything." She was really feeling fine, despite the pain she was pretty okay.

The worry was still on their faces but after couple minutes of Riot chatting them up, they let it go and just start enjoying the moment. Zeke told her that he won his fight and he was done with them completely, now they were worrying over Lauren and her fight with this girl called Ash. She and Lauren were enemies from childhood, since pre-school. Lauren told Riot that Ash once told everyone she peed in herself after pouring water down her trousers. Now Lauren was worried about losing to her, but Riot believed her friend to be more than capable.

"Lauren, you're a kick ass women. You can beat Ash or whatshername in any given day." She said encouragingly while Zeke nodded in agreement to her statement.

"Thanks guys, I really hate her you know. And she is actually good."

"But you are better" She cut Lauren before she got a chance to bring herself down.

"Listen to Riot on this one, she is right" Zeke smiled at them, trying to lift her friend's sprit up.

She sighed in defeat and let them have this one. Riot could see she was still worried and made a mental note to find a way to make sure Lauren would win. Even if that meant fixing the fight somehow. They kept talking for a while, Zeke made jokes and told funny stories of their past. The whole Ash thing was forgotten and the trio was enjoying their visiting time together.

"Ahem" someone cleared their throat and they turned to see who. It was Amar, standing at the door.

"Hey man!" Zeke got up and hugged Amar and did some weird handshake thingy. Then he hugged Lauren.

"Hi" Riot watched the whole thing with a smile on her face. She knew Amar was friends with the two. He had told her so many stories about Zeke making a food of himself and Amar saving the day.

"Can you two give us a moment please?" Amar turned to them as he spoke.

They nodded and closed the door behind on their way out. Amar took her medical chart from its place and start turning the pages, assessing her injuries.

"You know, when I am not teaching you kiddies, I work as a nurse."

"Nice! I bet you get to see the freakiest injuries ever!" She said excitedly.

"Mhmm." He confirmed her theory, put down the chart, and then sit down next to her. "You seem fine. You need to be observed throughout the night"

"Yeah, I am not planning to stick around that long." She shrugged, she wasn't a fan of hospitals or anywhere related.

"Alright missy, whatever you see fit." He had that easy smile on his face that made Riot feel safe around him.

"Was I good today?" She asked to change the subject but also out of curiosity. She respected his opinion as her friend and as her instructor.

"You were amazing, one of the best fighters I had the pleasure to teach. Come on, don't be too harsh on yourself for losing okay."

"Thanks, I needed to hear that." She hugged Amar tightly and kissed his cheek

"So your boyfriend is up again tomorrow" he teased her playfully, trying to make her forget about the fight.

"He is NOT my boyfriend" she crossed her arms and pretend to be offended. "Who is he against anyway?"

"Four."

"Your boyfriend is against mine then huh?" She teased back, she knew Amar had a thing for Four. He was protective over him, and always asking questions about him.

"He is not my boyfriend."

"But you are hoping" She grinned playfully and waved her finger at him.

"I am just curious about him, that's all" He shrugged and pretended it wasn't a big deal.

"Well, he has no friends, he sits alone, he doesn't talks to anyone. He goes to the training rooms every morning and trains for about two hours. Then he goes to fear landscape room ever night after dinner and stays there till sleeping time. When he comes back to the dorms, he practically sleeps like the dead. Sometimes he has nightmares, but mostly he sleeps without any disturbance." She reports pretty much everything he knows about Four to Amar and observes him while he was listening.

"Thanks." He cracked a half smile and poked her leg.

"Anytime." She poked his leg in return and smiled softly at him.

"Look, me and couple friends are gonna play Dare tonight. Zeke and Lauren are coming, and since you are not planning to stay the night here, you should join us." Amar extended her the invitation with an almost proud look on his face. He was offering her some Dauntless status cause he liked her.

"You know who you should invite, Four." She smirked like she was plotting something.

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"Fuck it I said no."

"But you want to." She was smirking evilly at her and he finally gave up.

"Fine. I'll ask him, BUT, it's not a date."

"I know, you are just doing it out of pity" She knew better than that. She knew Amar liked this boy for some reason, and as her friend she was going to help him get the boy.

They were all inside the train, sitting down, all in one giant cart. She was sitting between Zeke and Lauren, and Four sat on Lauren's left. She was surprised that Amar actually convinced Four to come out of his shell and join them. She could see Amar talking to his friends but once a while looking at Four and checking if he was really there. She wasn't sure what Amar was seeing in him, but she was sure she was seeing it as well.

"The game is Dare" A Dauntless girl spoke as she pulled herself back into the cart. She was more than little drunk and she was leaning out of the cart once a while, as if falling wouldn't kill her. "First person picks someone and dares them to do something. Then that person has a drink and does the dare, and gets a chance to dare someone else to do something. And when everyone has done their dare –or die trying- we get a little drunk and stumble home."

She listened to the Dauntless girl carefully and smiled wickedly upon thinking all these things she could've made these people do. Also alcohol.

She looked around to get herself familiarized with the faces and saw the same men who bought her and Eric drinks the night she beat up James. She tried to remember his name, but she couldn't. She didn't even remember if he actually asked his name. He was leaning towards Amar, like they were friends or even brothers. Amar did say, his friends talked about me that night. Clearly he was Amar's close friend.

"How do you win?" The same men asked, he had an easy grin on his face.

"You win by not being a little pansycake" The Dauntless girl replied "And, hey, a new rule, you also win by not asking dumb questions"

Amar's friend flipped her off and she just laughed. She liked the closeness between every Dauntless member in the cart. They were familiar with each other, and a sense of fraternity between them. They were laughing, cursing, joking, and punching each other, they were leaning towards each other. There was friendship and flirtation. All made Riot feel safe and feel right at home. She caught Amar looking at her and smiled warmly, he did return the smile. Then he poked his friend and pointed towards her. He waved at Riot and mouthed "hi".

"I am gonna go first, as the keeper of the alcohol" The Dauntless girl added and waved a silver flask to make her point "Amar, I dare you to go to Erudite library while all the Noses are studying and scream something obscene."

She tossed the silver flask to Amar. Everyone cheered as he opened the flask and took a large sip from it, swallowing whatever liquid is inside.

"Just tell me when we get to the right stop!" He shouted over the cheering and took another sip from the alcohol.

She looked at Amar with a grin on her face and he winked at her playfully, she gave two thumbs up to him before he got pulled into another conversation.

"Hey, you're a transfer right? Four?" Zeke waved a hand at Four to get his attention.

"Yeah" Four said "Nice first jump"

"Yeah, not my finest moment" Zeke laughed

"Yeah, not his finest moment" Riot said at the same time as Zeke.

They both look at each other and start laughing, she doubled up with laughter while Zeke put an arm around her.

"Not like anyone else stepped up" Lauren defended her friend's less-than-perfect moment.

"I did." Riot objected with a childlike frown on her face.

"After me, but yours was much perfect than mine" Zeke smiled at her and kissed her cheek in a big, sloppy way. It made Riot smile once more.

"I am Lauren by the way. Is it true you only had Four fears?" She doesn't paid attention to Riot and Zeke's conversation and kept talking to Four.

"Hence the name" he replied.

"Wow" Lauren's face showed how impressed she was and it caused Four to sit little bit straighter. Like he got some more confidence by her words. "Guess you were born Dauntless."

Riot smiled at Lauren's comment, believing to be true but she could see Four didn't entirely agree. She was about to say something but she noticed Lauren's small frown.

"How are your fights going?" Zeke asked Four, not really noticing her frown.

"All right" He waved a hand over his bruised face "As you can clearly tell."

"Check it out!" Zeke showed the bruise on his jaw "Thanks to this girl over here" He pointed Lauren with his thumb.

"He beat me." She said "But I got a good shot in for once"

"It doesn't bother you that he hit you?" He asked, little bit confused.

Riot could imagine why he was asking, he was a Abnegation breed, they would cringe at the mention of a fist fight let along between men and women. She believed that to be old fashioned.

"Why would it?" Lauren asked in return, not really understanding the question.

"I don't know… Because… you're a girl?" He said that in the most confused voice she'd ever heard.

Lauren raised her eyebrow "What, do you think I can't take it just like every other initiate, just because I have girl parts?" She pointed towards her chest to make her point.

Riot saw Four looking at Lauren's chest maybe a little longer than he should've but then pulled it together quickly.

"Sorry" He said "I didn't mean it that way. I am just not used to this. Any of this" He sounded genuinely upset to sound like he was insulting Lauren or Riot.

"Sure, I get it" Lauren replied softly, she wasn't angry and that was a good sign "But you should know that about Dauntless-girl, guy, whatever, it doesn't matter here. What matters is what you got in your gut."

Riot and Zeke nodded in agreement to Lauren's explanation and Four seemed to understand what Lauren was meaning. Riot figured he's still have a problem though, not about hitting girls but hitting people in general. Violence of any sort, made him scared.

Before she could further analyze Four, Zeke hit her shoulder with the back of his hand to draw her attention to Amar.

He got up and stand in front of the open door, his hands on his waist in a dramatic stance. Then the train dips down, and he doesn't even hold onto anything, he just swayed with the car's movement. Everyone got up and lined behind Amar, Erudite was close and it was almost time to jump. She stood right behind Amar, next to his friend. Her friend too she assumed.

"Came without your boyfriend?" He teased her, he was funny and easy going.

"He would kill me if he knew I was here." She was semi-serious. Eric would be mad if he knew she was out, jumping and running and drinking. All very bad for someone who just got treated for internal bleeding.

"Why? Is he the jealous type?" He asked that little bit flirty way.

"He put me into hospital, and I am clearly not in a hospital now" She shrugged as she laughed wholeheartedly, then she jumped.

She landed on her two feet but stumble a little and felt some pain on her side. He come up behind her and hold her.

"You okay?" He sounded worried this time "Maybe he is right, you should've stayed in hospital."

"I am fine" she said as she stand straight "Just a little bruising on my side that's all."

"Oh! Don't let her fool you Danny, she had internal bleeding." Amar appeared out of nowhere.

Now she knew the man's name. Danny. It was a nice name. Amar put his arm around her and pulled her away from Danny towards Four and rest of her friends.

"Look at you, getting your train legs" Amar said to Four, then handed him the flask "Here have a sip, you look like you need it."

She watched as he took his first drink. She knew Abnegation didn't even have any alcohol in their premises. This was his first, and as he swallowed the drink, she could see his face flinch with the sudden burning sensation but then he relaxes.

"Tastes awful doesn't it" She teased Four with a playful smirk on her lips.

"It's disgusting." He confirmed "but it seems to comfort people and it's warm."

"You're right my friend, people drink alcohol to find comfort. For taste, I suggest shit like apple juice. We drink because we are miserable, unhappy, and life has left a bitter taste on our mouth. So we must cleanse it and cherish whatever is left from our youth." She patted Four's shoulder and laughed a little.

Amar seemed to agree but he also rolled his eyes to Riot's funny but bitter comment. He let her go and wrapped his arm around Zeke's neck, pulling his face closer to his chest.

"I see you've met my young friend Ezekiel" he spoke about Zeke with the pride of a big brother.

"Just because my mom calls me that doesn't mean you have to" He said and pushed Amar off, but he had his puppy grin on his lips.

Then he turned to Four and Riot, "Amar's grandparents were friends with my parents" he explained.

"Were?" Four asked, clearly he caught the past tense just like she did.

"Well, my dad is dead and so are the grandparents" Zeke told them with an ease.

"What about your parents?" Four asked Amar this time.

"Died when I was young. Train accident. Very sad." He grinned like it wasn't but she knew better "And my grandparents took the jump after I become an official member of the Dauntless." He made a careening gesture with his hand, suggesting a dive.

She wrapped her arm around Amar, giving him a comforting half-hug. Even though he smiled like it was okay, she knew it wasn't and Amar's smile was just there to hide his true emotions.

"The jump?" Four sounded confused and curious, his frowning his brows.

"Oh, don't tell him while I am here" Zeke shook his head in objection, he come behind her and wrapped his arms around his waist and rested his chin on her shoulder "I don't wanna see the look on his face"

She already knew about the jump, she planned to take it once she was old and incapable. Many Dauntless preferred leaping to the unknown rather than go and be a factionless. She also knew Max was going to take the jump as well. Probably everyone she knew, she had made peace with that information long time ago. But it was probably different for Four, he didn't knew about the jump, he didn't knew once you were old and unable to do certain things you were either out or dead.

Amar didn't paid attention to Zeke's begging and replied "Elderly Dauntless sometimes take a flying leap into the unknown of the chasm when they hit a certain age. It's either that or be factionless. And my grandpa was very sick. Cancer. Grandma didn't cared to go on without him"

He tilted his head to the sky, like he was trying to push back all his emotions down, deep down, where they belonged. It scared her sometimes, how Amar could go from his Dauntless carefree façade to his real self. Cold and sad.

"I am sorry" Four said with a genuine worry in his voice.

Amar's face lightened up a bit, mainly because of Four. He really did have thing for this boy, she didn't know what was it but she knew every time the talked about Four, Amar had a boner on his heart. Clearly the little bitter-sweet moment they just shared was enough to cheer Amar up again.

"At least this way I got to say my good-byes" He smiled at Four "Most of the time, death just comes, whether you said good-bye or not."

With that Amar's old self returned and his goofy smile took over the sad one. He jogged towards the crowd ahead of them, joining his friends.

Meanwhile Lauren come up to them with a huge smile on her face "Where have you been guys, I've been looking for you, but I saw Lizbeth and she chatted me up."

She sighed happily and took Lauren's hand as they walked with the crowd. Zeke was little ahead of them skipping, like a puppy who just learned how to walk. Four was next to them, but he didn't talk much, he was busy looking around, observing.

It must've been weird for him, being at the home of very people who hated his old faction.

"What about you?" Zeke asked turning his head back a little "You have parents?"

"One." He shrugged "My mother died a long time ago"

She could sense that he didn't count his father much of a family. The way his face clouded when he spoke of him, made Riot to believe they weren't in the best terms.

"And your dad, is he okay with your choice? Visiting day is coming up you know." Zeke asked cautiously.

Visiting day was important for transfers, most of the time parent's wouldn't show up, but if you were lucky they would. Even then, you'd have to look at least little bit of detached. Dauntless took faction before blood very seriously after all.

"No" Four replied with a distant voice "He is not okay with it at all."

"How about you Riot? Will your mom and step-dad come and visit?" Lauren turned to her as she spoke.

"Yeah. They knew I was to be Dauntless from the moment I learned how to walk."

She was glad that her family was okay with her choice, they knew Riot well enough to know that she would be miserable in Candor. She liked climbing up to the buildings, and jump off from them. She liked guns, and knives, and fist fights.

"Anyway, come on, let's go little closer. I wanna see everything" Riot pulled them all ahead of the crowd, so they could see everything through outside.

Amar opened the door of the main building and walked in, while everyone else was waiting outside, watching through the windows.

She could see the erudite working, their noses buried deep into their books. A large portrait of Jeanine Matthews hanging by the reception. She tried to imagine Eric being one of these people, wearing glasses, without his piercings and hid wild long hair. It was impossible for her to think him that way. It just seemed wrong.

Amar ran into the lobby, ignoring the protests of the Erudite at the front desk.

"Hey Noses! Check this out!" He shouted and everyone looked up from theirs books or their screens.

Amar dropped his pants, mooning them. All the Dauntless started to laugh, pointing at the faces of the Erudite, mocking them, and cheering for Amar. The Erudite behind the desk sprinted towards Amar, but he quickly pulls his pants and trousers up, then all the Dauntless start running. Riot was laughing as she ran, as well as everyone else. Even Four was doubled up with laughter. They all ran towards the train tracks since there is nowhere else, but Erudite gives up the chase after a block.

They all stopped and rested against the bricks, Amar arrived to the alley last. His hands raised like of a champion, he was holding the flask like trophy.

He pointed at Lauren "Young one, I dare you to scale the sculpture in front of Upper Levels buildings"

He threw the flask at Lauren, she took a sip and then grinned at Amar "You got it!"

By the time they got to Riot, everyone was drunk. They were laughing at every joke, slurring their words, and hardly walking straight. The flask was on the hands of Danny. He pointed to Riot and opened his mouth, but he just burped. They all laughed, the he tried speaking again.

"I remember you said you were Candor" he handed the flask to Riot "I dare you to go into one the court rooms, and steal the judge's hammer."

She laughed at his dare, thinking it was pretty fun. She liked the idea behind it. She took a large sip from the flask, and licked her lips. Whiskey tasted so good, so bitter, burning, but like an old friend Riot could always rely on.

"Deal." She grinned wickedly at Danny.

They start walking towards the Merciless Mart, talking, laughing. Four was starting to relax around them, he did crack few jokes. She could see he was going to be very good friend with Zeke, it was impossible to not love Zeke.

She could also see Amar getting little friendly with him, he was practically flirting with Four, but he wasn't even aware of it. To Four, things like flirting was very strange. That didn't stop Amar though.

"Here we are!" Danny pat her on the shoulder as he pointed out the doors of Merciless Mart.

She asked to barrow someone's hoodie, just in case she would get caught in cameras. She tied her hair back, and pulled the hood up. She also barrowed a hair pin for the locks.

The main door was automatic, and they never shut it off, so she just easily walked in. She knew where all the cameras were, since she grew up around and had nothing better to do. She avoided the cameras pretty easily and made her way to the judge chambers.

She saw her mother's name on one of the doors and opened the door. It was a key coded door and she knew her mother's code. She asked her once. It was 005986215.

She walked inside her chamber and looked around the office she spent most of her childhood. She knew they kept their hammer's locked in one of the drawers, she tried the drawers to find out which one was locked, and picked the lock with ease. She took out the hammer and made her way out.

"I believe you ordered the hammer of justice" she said with a thick authoritarian voice and handed the hammer to Danny.

All the Dauntless cheered and she couldn't help but grinning like a five year old with sugar high.

"Well, well…." She rubbed her hands in an almost evil way "I guess, I am to dare…." She pointed to Zeke "…pretty boy over here!"

"Thank you." He placed his hand to his heart and tried to look humble. She handed him the flask after taking another sip.

"I dare you, to go the hospital -not the small teeny tiny one we have in our compound- and scream that if you don't get a blow job in the next thirty seconds you will die, then drop you pants and do the helicopter."

"Easy!" he laughed and placed his hands to his belt, pretending to take it off.

"And since we all can't possibly go inside, I brought you a little gift from my mom's office." She took out a small camera from her pocket "You gotta record it for us."

"Done!" He took the camera and then took a sip from the flask. "Let's go!".

The night was almost coming to an end, everyone except one fulfilled a dare. Her legs and sides were aching from all the running, and jumping, and climbing. She was slightly tipsy as well, Amar had instructed everyone to keep their drinks safe from her.

They were closer to the Dauntless compound now, only couple blocks of walking away.

"Who's left?" Lauren asked, her eyes scanning everyone and then stopped at Four "Ah, the numerically named initiate from Abnegation!"

"Yeah" Four nodded and confirmed Lauren.

"A Stiff?" The boy who's holding the flask now asked in disbelief.

Riot was ready to defend her friend, fully knowing he didn't like the name, but she decided he could defend himself if he needed. He did that with Eric before. So she didn't say anything and let the boy talk.

"Stiff are uptight" he said that like it's a fact, even though that is true and Four is a little bit uptight, he is still pretty cool "So to prove you're a Dauntless now… I dare you to get a tattoo."

He lifted a shoulder and nodded "Fine"

The boy tossed the flask to Four and he drained it, even though she could see it burned his lips. For a new kid, he was good at drinking.

They all started to walk towards the Pire, chatting and talking. She could see the little nervousness in Four, so she decided to chat him up to relax him. Thankfully, when a person like Zeke was around, it was too hard not to laugh. He always looked like he was about to tell the funniest joke. At some point during their walk, Four started to talk with Amar and she decided to stay out of it. She prevented anyone to interrupt, and kept Zeke and other occupied.

Since it was middle of the night, the tattoo parlor was closed. Amar suggested that they wake Tori up and start leading the crowd towards her house. He walked while one of his arm was around Four's shoulder. Both looking surprisingly comfortable.

They knocked on Tori's door and she answered some moments later, she was clearly sleeping before they rudely interrupt her slumber. Tori was wearing man's boxer and a large t-shirt with a Dauntless logo on it, it looked pretty similar to the one she 'barrowed' from her father.

"Please?" Amar smiled charming "It's for a game of dare" he pointed towards Four.

"Are you sure you want a tired women to tattoo your skin, Four? This ink doesn't wash off." She gave him a fair warning.

"I trust you." He confirmed, it wasn't like he could back out of the dare anyway. Riot knew this was important for him to be accepted as a Dauntless.

"Right" Tori yawned "The things I do for Dauntless traditions. I'll be right back, I am going to put some pants on"

She closed the door, but in couple seconds she remerged wearing pants. Her feet was still bare but she didn't seem to care.

"If I get into trouble for turning the lights on at this hour, I am going to claim it was vandals and name names."

"Got it" Four nodded in agreement, accepting any responsibility that may come.

"There is back way, come on" She opened the door wide for everyone to walk inside, she passed her living room.

There was not a clutter in the room, only some drawings on top of her coffee table. Then they passed her kitchen which was full of old kitchen appliances, rusty counters, and a very old fridge that looked out of time. Tori pushed a door open and it leads to a dark hallway that opens up to the tattoo parlor.

Tori opened the lights on top of her assigned chair, then she proceed to arrange her needles. She looked like a skilled surgeon prepping for an important surgery. While she prepped, Riot and the others started to pull chairs and benches around the tattoo chair, so they can watch Four get tattooed.

"Basic principles of tattooing" Tori started to explain "the less cushion under the skin, or the bonier you are in particular area, the more painful the tattoo. For your first one it's probably get it done on, I don't know, your arm… or…"

"Your butt cheek" Zeke suggested with a huge laughter

"It wouldn't be the first time, or the last" Tori shrugged it off.

Four looked at the tattoo samples and drawings on the wall, and decided on one of the artistic flames.

"That one." He pointed to the tattoo he chose. It was pretty cool, something that would look nice on his skin.

"Got it" Tori said "Got a location in mind?"

Riot expected him to get a tattoo on his arm like Tori suggested, or maybe his leg. That would be the less painful and smart choice but he pointed to his ribcage. Riot knew that would hurt like a motherfucker.

"You sure?" Tori asked to be sure "That's maybe the most painful place possible."

"Good." He replied, sit down to the chair and pulled his tshirt up.

Riot knew he handled pain well, he had his fair share with it. It was obvious from the way he fought, he was impossible to beat down, he always got up. Pain, did nothing to him.

"So we have a masochist in the chair tonight. Lovely" Tori replied sarcastically while putting on her gloves.

Tori sat down to the stool next to Four's chair, then she dipped a cotton ball to alcohol. She start rubbing it to his chest, covering the area which tattoo was going to be made. Just as she was about to finish, her brows frowned and she pulled Four's skin a bit, uncovering sets of scars on his back.

"How did this happen Four?" she asked sternly.

Amar leaned down to take a look at the scars, and Riot noticed the deep frown on his lips. He looked angry.

"He is an initiate" Amar said "They're all cut and bruised at this point. You should see them limping around together. It's sad" He offered an explanation but Riot didn't believe him, and neither did Tori.

Riot would know a partial truth when she saw one, her eyes were trained to catch lies like those. Amar and Four shared a secret, and Riot decided to not dwell on it at this point.

"I have a giant one on my knee" Zeke declared "It's the sickest blue ever…" he rolled up his pant leg up to show everyone the bruise.

Then everyone started to share their bruises and scars, showing them to each other.

"Got this when they dropped me after the zip line"

"Well, I've got a stab wound from your grip slipping during knife throwing so we are even…"

And it went on like that, but Riot did not participate, her eyes were fixed on Four and Amar. Soon Tori was done prepping and the buzzing sound filled the room. Amar tossed Four the flask and he almost drained it all. She could see him flinch with the pain, but not it way it hurt, but in a way he liked it.

She looked around the dorm to find Eric, they were getting late for breakfast and she wanted to get the good muffins before anyone finished them. She found him sitting on the edge of a mattress that didn't belonged to him, trying his shoes while watching Four. She normally would've find that creepy but he was simply trying to get into Four's head. A new ring was on the corner of his lip, he must've get the while she was out with Amar and the rest. It looked nice on him though, she liked it.

"You look like hell" he looked Four and he seemed amused by what he was seeing.

Four sit up too fast and then groaned, Riot could only imagine how he was feeling. His first hangover, and his first tattoo. They all had stayed with Four for hours until his tattoo was finished, by the time they returned to the dorm, all the flasks were emptied, and there was no one sober.

"I hope that when you lose, you don't use it as an excuse" Eric practically sneered at him "Because I would have beat you anyway"

"Eric." She stepped towards to them "Behave."

Eric raised his eyebrow at her but did what she said, he only gave Four a one last insulting look, then took Riot by the hand and left for breakfast.

"He is my friend you know." She sighed as they got into the breakfast line.

"You can do much better friends" he grabbed them both trays and handed one to her.

"I don't want to, I like him." She got herself some eggs and then put two large portions to his plate. "You need protein."

"Can I at least get more bacon?"

"Only four. Not more than that" She put two muffins to her plate, both strawberry.

After she exited the line, she walked to the initiates table and sit down next to Zeke. He also looked like hell, Lauren was no different. Pour kiddies, they weren't used to drinking this much. Maybe she would teach them some of her hangover tricks.

Eric come and sit in front of her, evidentially next to Lauren. So far Eric had no problem with Lauren or Zeke, fully aware how much they meant to her. She was grateful for that, she could easily delegate between her best friends and Eric but she'd be much happier if she didn't had to.

"I like your dress" he smiled at her. ( . )

She smiled back but fully aware that wasn't what he wanted to say. She still liked the compliment though, she and Lauren had chosen this dress just so she could look even prettier. Since she wasn't fighting today, she thought it was a perfect time to wear it.

"Thank you, now tell me what you really wanted to tell me"

"You're an utter idiot for leaving last night. You shouldn't have tire your body like that, and you certainly shouldn't have drink a sip of alcohol." He sounded worried and angry at the same time, but he was reserved and under control.

"Thank you, again" She couldn't help but chuckle at how worried he looked over some stupid drink.

"You don't understand Riot. You could've died. You could've start bleeding again, and die before anyone even notice something was wrong."

"Yeah, because that would be such an awful thing" She hissed under her breath and took a deep breath to calm down.

"Yes it would. It would break my heart. Look I know you don't care about yourself but please try for me okay?" He sounded soft, and caring but underneath all that there was a silent begging and an order.

He had practically said he loved her and she didn't really know what to say "Alright. Now eat your eggs."

He sighed in relief and let out a laugh, then he happily start eating his food.

Ten minutes into the fight and Four is nowhere to scene. There was a smug smirk on Eric's lips, but there was a huge frown on Amar's. Amar's been standing in the middle of the arena, checking his watch and waiting for Four to show up. Even some Dauntless-borns was there to watch them fight. Moments later, the door burst open and Four ran inside. One if his feet halfway out of his shoe, and Eric was right, he did looked like hell.

Amar gave him a pointed look, clearly annoyed. "Nice of you to join us" he said, pointing Four's shoe "tie your shoes and don't waste any more of my time"

While Four does what he was told, Eric watched him the whole time, cracking his knuckles carefully. Trying to intimidate him, and clearly succeeding.

They both step to the arena and wait for Amar to start the fight. As soon as Amar is out of the way, Eric punched Four square on the jaw. Four stumbled back, holding his face. Then he raised his hand to block Eric's next punch, but instead Eric kicks him on the ribs.

"This is easier than I thought it would be" Eric said in a very arrogant tone.

Four uppercut him in the stomach, so Eric hit's him on the ear with the flat of his hand. Riot knew the ringing would hurt a lot. Especially for someone who was hung over. Eric played with him for a bit, she could see he was saying something to him, something the others –herself included- couldn't hear.

Then something very strange happened, Four got up and hold Eric in his place. Then he punched him, over and over and over and over again. Eric tried to get away but Four kicked his side and he toppled. Then he kept hitting Eric. She heard Eric scream, and his eyes looked glassy and unfocused. Blood rushing all over his face and dripping from his chin.

She saw Four back down, like something in him shut off and he realized what he just did. She can see a different kind of fear in his face, same fear Riot carried. He wasn't afraid of violence anymore, he was afraid of enjoying it, fear of what he might becoming. He let Eric go and rushed outside the training room.

She sigh and looked at Eric, seeing him like that, covered in blood. It didn't upset her, it should have, but the sight of him covered in blood made her somewhat excited. The violence she had witnessed. She walked towards Eric and pulled him up, he wrapped his arm around her and leaned on her for support.

"Silly boy" She whispered under her breath, only for him to hear. Then they go to the nurses station together, slowly, one step at a time.

"Eric, all your stitches are done, and we fixed your tooth." The doctor left the room, leaving them alone.

Eric had seven stiches on his eyebrow, a busted lip, and a knocked out tooth which took pretty much whole day to fix. He was fuming with anger, probably planning Four's demise as they were speaking. She was sitting on the bed right next to him. Holding his hand, looking at his knuckles.

"Fuck." He hissed, she could tell he was on the verge of a breakdown.

Eric wasn't fond of losing, especially when he knew it was all his fault. Eric was a smart men, and he did the most basic mistake any man would've done. He got arrogant, and the got sloppy. He read Four wrong and miscalculated him.

"I wanna kill him." He took a deep breath, his hands clenching into fists.

She took his hand and intertwined her fingers with his.

"There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of ones fellow man" she gently caressed his cheek, being careful not to hurt him.

"Are you giving me permission to kill your friend?" He looked at her with awe

"I can always make new friends but no, I am giving you a permission to win against him at something else. Though remember, it was your own fault that we are in this room."

"You're a wonderful women."

"I know." She smiled softly at him, her eyes warm and welcoming.

She leaned in towards him, and gently kissed him on his lips, trying to reopen any wounds. He didn't seem to care though, he turned his body towards hers, and kissed him back but he wasn't gentle, he was deep and possessive. She felt his tongue seeking entrance, asking for her permission. She slightly opened her mouth, carefully letting him. They discovered each other for a while until she pulled back for some hair.

"Wow" she whispered. As far as her first kisses went, this was far by her favorite.

"I agree." His arrogant smirk was back on his lips, just like she loved.

She saw some blood on his lip, and she wiped with her thumb. "You got little something there"

She laughed softly, and looked down. She certainly didn't imagine kissing Eric in a hospital bed for the first time, or at any point really.

"I feel greedy and possessive because all I can think about is calling you mine" He spoke silently, almost impossible to hear.

She knew Eric cared about her a lot, and she cared about him in the same way. Eric was the one for her. Not because of some romantic bullshit but because Eric made her feel safe. Not just physically but emotionally. When she was around Eric, she was free, free to admit all the terrible desires that crawled under her skin, and she was free to sing all the songs of violence. Eric would never judge her, and she would never judge her. They were of course bound to hurt each other once a while, but she knew she would never have to question Eric's love.

They were like those wounded soldiers in the movies, leaning together, carrying each other to the safety. They were also monsters, who did unspeakable things.

"There will be times where I am bitter and cold. Heartless, to say the least. And you have to understand, it's not that I don't care. It's that I do." She told him nervously.

"I wouldn't have you any other way" He smiled at her, then jumped down from the bed, pulling her as well.

"Let's get drunk, for me this time" He pulled her close and hugged her tightly before leaving together.

It was official now, an unspoken agreement between them to be each other's partners in crime. Come what may, nothing could separate them.

"Alright Sal, whatever you got we are buying it!" She grinned and pointed towards their booth "Send it all in there. Actually do me a favor, make all the cocktails you know. Make is colorful. Also maybe you can put some umbrellas on them?"

"Trying to cheer up your boyfriend?" He teased her but also nodded, saying he understood.

"Yeah, he fucked it up. So this time, we are getting drunk for him."

"Alright kid, I'll keep them coming." He smiled at her and start working on those cocktails she wanted.

She smiled back and returned to her seat, sitting right next to Eric. She took his hand and start chatting him up, she knew the last thing he needed was to be alone in his own thoughts. That was dangerous, thoughts would corrupt him, upset him, and make him do something harmful and potentially stupid. He didn't need to think at the moment, he just needed to drink. Thankfully their first drink arrived, it was something blue with vodka in it. She was never good at remembering cocktail names. She handed Eric a glass and then she took her own. They quickly finished those and moved on to other ones. As they drink, they talked about Eric and what he wanted to be once the initiation was done, his ambitions, his dreams. He told her little bit about Erudite and she told him little bit about Candor. He asked her about her friends in Candor, or if she had, her boyfriends. She told him she never really had any friends, but she mentioned him about the period of time she was sleeping with her teacher. He told her about some of the people he'd been with but he was clearly keeping something but it didn't matter to her. He wasn't the only one with secrets. After finishing talking about ex-lovers, they started to talk about simple things, like their favorite colors and favorite animals. They both loved all animals, but they missed their old dogs. They both loved color black, but they agreed that there was something beautiful about forest green. They learned that they both dreamed of the sea, and swimming, and being on one of those ships they learned on the books. They both loved knives and he agreed when she said knives were functional art.

When the night was over, they were both pretty wasted, they leaned on each other as they walked to the dorms, stopping once a while to catch their breath or trying to remember the correct corridor to take. Once they found the dorm, the collapsed on Eric's bed. They helped each other take off their shoes, and she helped him out of his trouser. They wiggled under the covers, and she spooned him. She wrapped his arms around, and let him be the little spoon. She wanted him to feel safe, and loved.

She wiggled out of the bed without waking Eric up. He was exhausted, and he could use some more sleep. She walked towards her side of the dorm and quickly changed her clothes. She put some shorts, and wore a black t-shirt which she tucked inside the shorts. She put her boots on and left for breakfast.

She grabbed her usual breakfast –eggs, toast, and muffin-, then sit next to Lauren. She looked extra grumpy today, probably because of the fight. She was practically growling into her coffee. Zeke wasn't any better, he looked extremely sleepy and he smelled.

Suddenly, something pretty weird happened. Four, sat down next to Zeke. For the first time in weeks, that boy actually was making an effort to socialize. She felt kind of proud about it, she was the one who suggested Amar take him out and seemed like that really helped him.

"Riot?" Four called her name to get her attention "Are you angry with me?"

"Eric will come after you, I can't stop that. But that is between you and him. As long as you don't kill each other, I am out of it." She smiled at him "Far as I am concerned, we are friends."

"Thank you." He nodded and returned to his breakfast and she returned to hers.

She noticed how he easily started a conversation with Zeke. Now he was pointing Four his family. She already had seen them from afar. His brother Uriah who was much taller and kinda hotter. And his mother Hana who was the neatest Dauntless she ever saw, she was sharply dressed and had no tattoos on her, or any piercings, or any weird hair color. She looked entirely normal.

"Do you miss living home?" She heard Four ask Zeke.

"Not really" he replied "I mean, they are right there. Dauntless-born initiates aren't really supposed to talk to families until visiting day, but I know if I really needed something, they'd be there."

She smiled upon hearing Zeke's statement, she liked seeing happy families. Families that relied on each other and loved each other.

Her smile grew even larger when she turned her head and saw Lauren. She had fallen asleep her eyes close, her chin resting against her hand. Then Lauren's head slipped off her hand and she smashed her chocolate muffin with her face. Riot and Zeke start laughing at the same time, they laugh so much that they almost cry.

Lauren woke up with muffin pieces on his face, rubbing her eyes "whathappend?" she yawned while talking, making it almost impossible to understand.

"Well loser, you just smashed a muffin with your fugly face" Some blonde girl was standing over their table, her arms crossed, she looked at Lauren like she was scum of the earth.

"And who you might be?" Riot turned her face to the girl who just insulted her best friend.

"I am Ash." She said that rather proudly which made Riot puke a little on the inside.

"Oh" she spoke softly, then nodded to herself "You are that poor girl, with the unfortunate name. Wow, life must've been hard for you" she managed sound like she was concerned but also very sarcastic at the same time.

"What you mean!" Ash snapped at Riot which only made her smile.

Riot got up from her seat and stood in front of Ash "I mean, Ash is a very ridiculous name for a Dauntless don't you agree?"

When the girl looked at her like she was stupid, Riot proceed to explain "Well you see, Ash comes when the fire is burnt out and over. It's basically saying you are a Dauntless left-over. Burnt out. All you need is now to someone sweep you to the trash bin you belong. I suggest that one..." She pointed the nearest trash bin "it's the closest."

"What did you said to me!" Ash took a step towards Riot but Riot didn't move, or flinch.

"I think she called you trash, burn out, useless, and stupid. All in one sentence" Zeke said from his seat in a very helpful sounding voice.

"Did I use big words?" She pouted a little "Oh Ashley-poo, I am sorry. I'll use small words okay."

Ash laughed a little and raised her eyebrow to Riot "Look you little bastard, we all know who you are and honestly I am not that impressed with the troubled alcoholic routine."

"Did you just call me a bastard?" she smiled "Anyway, my point is Ash, if you insult my friend one more time, you'll be picking up your teeth with broken fingers"

She grabbed Riot by her hair, then head butted her. For a moment, Riot didn't do anything. Then she tacked the girl down and start choking her with one hand, while her dominant hand start punching her, over and over again. Making her pretty face into a mess. She could see her white face going purple-ish, but she felt someone grab her from behind and pulled her away. She kicked the air, screaming, demanding to be let go.

"Calm down Riot." It was Amar who was holding her "Calm down." He was speaking in a soft, relaxed voice.

He carried Riot out of the room, and pulled her to aside. They talk for couple of minutes, he was trying to calm Riot down and it was working. She wasn't really mad at Ash, she just wanted to fight and hurt someone. Ash just had happened to give her a legitimate reason for it. She ended up spending most of her morning and her lunch time with Amar. Who would have known, he could cook pretty decent.

After their lunch, he told her to go and wait with the other initiates and he'd be there soon. She did what she was told, and found her group of initiates. They were all waiting in front of the training room they used. She saw Eric and immediately skipped towards him. He greeted her with a huge smile on his face.

"I heard you got into a fight" he pushed the hair out of her face and cupped her cheek, he leaned in and kissed her on the lips, only for a moment "That's my girl."

She smiled proudly and tucked herself close to him, her head resting against his large torso.

Amar showed up five minutes later and told everyone to fallow him into a different room. They passed a grim hallway with a heavy door at the end of it. Amar told everyone to sit down against the wall, then he disappeared behind the heavy door without saying anything else.

She pulled Eric little further away from Four, not wanting any altercations. She sat down on Eric's lap, and he put his arm around her waist, she laid down her head to his shoulder and closed her eyes. She felt Eric kiss top of her head, and it made her smile. It was a small, gentle gesture.

She checked Eric's watch, since she didn't carry one herself. It was almost time for Lauren to fight Ash. She really hoped that Lauren would finish what Riot had started. She wanted that Ash to crumble and hopefully die.

"What do you think is in there?" Mia, the Amity girl asked in a nervous voice but no one answered.

Couple minutes later the door opened, and Amar called Four's name. They disappeared behind that door and left rest of the initiates confused and curious.

"I'll be right back." Eric said as he lifted her up and gently put aside.

She could tell he was up to something, but she didn't know what it was. Not yet at least, but she figured she would learn later. Whenever she had more clues, or he decided to tell her.

"Just be back before Amar" She smiled and waved at him.

She leaned against the wall, and waited for minutes to pass. Five, or maybe six minutes later Eric returned. He sat down and pulled her to his lap. He needed to look like he never moved but also he liked having her on close proximity.

The door opened again but Four didn't come out, only Amar "Riot. You're up."

She kissed Eric's lips quickly before leaving with Amar. Inside of the room was cold and colorless. It was full of machines, monitors, and one chair for her to sit down.

She sat down and waited, Amar was preparing a needle, and placing some kinds of pads on her that were wired to the machines.

"Ready?"

She nodded, and with that the simulations started.

When Eric found her in a broom closet, she was a crying drunken mess. She was sitting against the wall, the bottle next to her, and she was hugging herself. Going through the simulation was awful, it was real, and everything felt real, too real. She could still feel his fingers on her skin, and how he undressed her, she could feel the silent screams being tied around her throat. She could feel him caress her, and talk to her.

"What did you really expected?" he whispering to Riot as he dressed her back up. Those words being burnt to her mind, repeating over and over again.

When Eric found her, she was so close to lose herself completely, lose her mind. Or whaever was left of it. He sat down next to her, pulled her to his lap and hugged her tightly. She started to cry all over again, clenching to Eric like he is her only life line. And at that very moment, he is.

They sit there like that, crying for hours. She cries harder than she ever cried before. This was worse than the nightmares, or flashbacks, because simulations made it all real. It was to live the same moment, again, and again, and again. It was to feel the same pain, the same panic. It was to be broken all over again.

"I…. I don't think I can do this anymore Eric"

He cleaned the tears off her face and kissed her temple, she loved that about him. The way he wrapped his arms around her fragile body, it made her believe that everything would be okay.

"I just feel so fucking empty sometimes, almost like all my organs and bones have dissolved and all the blood has drained from my veins. It's so exhausting to feel nothing and everything at the same time."

She started to cry once again and his hugged tightened around her. He pressed her face to his chest, rocking her gently.

"There is nothing that can take the pain away, but eventually you will find a way to live with it. There will be nightmares, and every day when you wake up, it'll be the first thing you think about. Until one day, it will be the second thing"

"I was raped" she said that so softly, his heart ached to the way she sounded. She sounded so broken, beaten down. Like she was dead.

He pulled her close as she continued to talk "His name was Darren. He was my first boyfriend, he… he was a candor like me. And we were at this party one day... and … and he did something to my drink. I…. I could feel everything but… but I couldn't move and I… I couldn't scream…" she stopped talking and just screamed to his chest, letting it all out.

After her crying calmed down, Eric carried her back to the dorms. She was sleeping on his chest. He laid her down to her bed and tucked her in. Then he sat down to the floor, against her mattress. Pretty much guarding her and staying there in case she woke up and needed her.

"I won!" Lauren ran into the dining room and sit down to their usual table. She was sitting between Eric and Zeke. Four sitting across them. Lauren sat down next to Four and grinned proudly. "I totally plumbed her! Gave her a bloody nose and everything, it was amazing."

They all congratulate Lauren on her win, even Eric said some nice, encouraging words. He was still worried about Riot, it showed pretty clearly when you looked carefully. He was holding her hand under the table, being nice to her friends for no particular reason, getting her food, and even giving her his share of the chocolate cake.

At the end of the meal, she noticed two Erudite women walk in. One of them was Jeanine Matthews, she knew her from her portrait. Everyone pretty much went silent, but it took a lot to make Dauntless go quiet. Even now, there were mutters and whispers. Erudite women walked to Max's table and sat down with him, and the conversation start picking up. She tried to engage into the conversation but she kept an eye on her father and his guests. She didn't like strangers in here.

Max stood up and walks towards Amar, Riot can see they were having a tense conversation. Then they all get up and walk towards their table. Specifically towards Four.

"You and I are have been called for an evaluation" Amar spoke to Four, his regular smile was absent. He looked angry, frustrated.

"Evaluation?" Four sounded confused so her father stepped in.

Max smiled at Four a little and explained "Your fear simulation results were little abnormal. Our Erudite friends behind us will observe another simulation to make sure the abnormal result wasn't an error in the simulation program. Amar will take you to fear simulation room now."

As they leave the room, Riot got up. She excused herself from the table with a half ass lie and fallowed them. She needed to hear every single thing that women uttered from her mouth. She knew someone important as her wouldn't come just because of a program. Something much bigger was going on and she was determined to find it.

She fallowed them closely to the fear simulation room, and walked towards to the door as they closed it. She needed to hear everything. Soon after, Amar opened the door and he saw him. She brought her fingers to her lip, and begged him to be silent. He nodded and left to get that equipment he promised.

She listened every conversation they had and came to one conclusion. Jeanine Matthews was up to something and her father was in it. Also whatever it was, it was Eric's fault. Jeanine had mentioned a initiate come forward with concerns, and Eric was the only one who had connections to Erudite and held a grudge against Four. He was lost during the time Four was in, she would bet real money that Eric was somehow listening to the conversation between him and Amar.

She left the premises before anyone left the room, and ran to the dorms but she didn't go inside. She waited for Four to show up, they needed to talk privately. Once she saw him approaching, she grabbed him by the arm and shoved him into the closet.

"Tell me everything. Tell me, what Jeanine was looking for."

"Whoa, slow down there Riot."

"Look, I have this terrible gut feeling that she is up to no good. I also think my father is on this. I think it was also Eric, which I apologize deeply for. I think, you and Amar are in danger." She quickly summed up her thoughts to him. Really hoping he would trust her.

"Look, I really don't know okay" As soon as he said those words, she knew he was lying. It was very obvious on his face.

"You're a terrible liar Four." She pushed the door open and left.

If Four couldn't give her answers, maybe Eric would. She found him down the pit, watching a fight. Normally she would stay with him and watch but she had no time. Not right now. She pulled Eric by the arm and took him to the broom closet he found her in earlier.

"Why is Jeanine Matthews here?" She crossed her arms and looked straight to him. So she could observe him better.

"There are things you don't need to know Riot. Leave this one alone"

"No." she said stubbornly "You ratted Four out but it's gonna hurt Amar as well. I don't know what you are up to, or what my father is up to but I will find out."

"Jeanine suspects they are Divergents. Happy now? Please leave this alone" He practically was begging her.

She shook her head in disbelief. She saw no lies in his, and she knew why her father would help Jeanine, even though he hated strangers, he hated Divergents even more so. She took a deep breath and looked at Eric;

"If anything happens to my friends, I will come after you." She hissed those words and left.

She walked outside to grab a smoke and relax. She needed to calm down. She was torn between being angry at Eric for bringing Erudite down on them, or being angry at her father. She just wanted to punch Jeanine Matthews. And just for her luck, Jeanine was outside as well, grabbing a smoke.

"Are you going to kill my friends?" She asked her straight up.

"Excuse me?"

"My name is Riot, I am Max's daughter. Amar and Four are my friends. So I am gonna ask you again, are you planning to kill them?"

"No. Why would I do that?" She was straight up lying.

She put a fake smile on and lit her cigarette "You're lying, I am Candor transfer you see, I can spot your lies. It's okay, I can always make new friends, I am resourceful like that."

"Then why did you ask?"

"I like to be prepared." She smiled at Jeanine once again "I believe survival is a must, and I believe Divergents are treat to my survival."

"You are correct, they are."

"I am always correct Miss Matthews, it's a curse really." She tossed her cigarette and walked inside.

She needed to find Amar and make a plan. Whatever Jeanine was planning, it was much bigger than her and her friends. It involved her father, Eric, and somehow now, herself.


End file.
